My Life, My Story

Post #321

2012-02-06T00:26:00.001+08:00

Hello readers! Sorry for not updating so long. 
Forgive me okay?  My laptop broke down and cant blog until I recently got a wifi and downloaded the blogger app from the apple app store! And guess what? I'm back to blogging! 
The app is really awesome. You can switch blogs within the same account too(if you have many blogs like me)! Oh well, i can't bear to delete my other blogs. They hold too much memories. And okay, I admit, I USED TO twit. Who doesn't? That's one of the reason why I can't bear to delete them, oh well.

Okay, I'm here to blog about my new love, the hassle-free make up remover. It's awesome. The photo will be right after this post cuz basically, the app kinda suck cuz i cant upload the photo right after the passage I want it to be.
Okay, back to topic. It really removes all treces of makeups. even waterproof ones! As long as you press and hold for at least 5 seconds!

Hey, it's easier than those which you have to pour the makeup remover onto the cotton pads then slowly remove makeups, then wash your face again. By using this, you only have to wipe off gently and all your makeups will come off! Feel the moisture from the facial wipes! You won't regret, at least I don't. I've use so many such wipes before and this is the only one that I love using. It REALLY WORKS.

Happy 13th month

2012-01-21T19:42:00.001+08:00

Happy Belated 13th to my dear boy, There's arguments and everything during these 13 months. I just hate how you keep adding girls in fb. But yet, you're always there to make me smile when i'm upset. 

This time, I'm serious.

2011-12-15T06:08:00.000+08:00

I used to be so strong.

What's happening to me?

I don't wish to let you go, but I have to.

All those memories we had, should I forget them or keep them deep in my heart?

You're begging me not to give up in this relationship..

You broke your promises again and again..

I'm tired of hearing those lies and excuses.

You talked to her because we had a tiff.

You knew I hate her.

But yet...

Why are everyone standing at your side?

Why are everyone asking me to give you another chance?

How many chances have I given you? I've lost count.

I'm tired of playing games that involve love.

Cupid, please, I beg you, don't hurt my heart again.

2011-10-23T03:26:00.000+08:00

I am meeting my boyfriend tmr.

XOXO

Post #318

2011-09-03T02:42:00.000+08:00

Back!

Today's a Friday and all I did was to rot at home. Was planning to meet @bby today. But he's gonna visit his granny and then job interview at night. He has got no time for me... not anymore.. :(

Went out with @Jol ytd and here's our retarded photos.

The photos posted in ytd's post were taken on Wednesday when I'm out with @Diana & @Vannie. LOL.

Okay, I think I shall head to bed now since I'm working at later and having YumCha with family in the morning. :/

GoodNight darlings!

xoxo ;

Velyn

Post #317

2011-09-02T00:59:00.001+08:00

Heyo. I'm back and this time, I'm back for more photos! :D I didn't break my promise! :)

I have a new app in my ITouch! And I like it ALOT! :D

Okay, not only me. my sister and my friends too!

And so, I went out with @Jolene today! Suppose to meet her at 11am, but in the end, we met each other at 10.30am and cabbed over to Bugis for job interview. Christina told her to avoid reaching there at 11.30 to 1.30pm last minute due to lunch hour. :/

Got the job for L'oreal. @Jol will starting work first since I'm working at the airport on the 6th. Gonna work at Pique Nique this coming Saturday. Abit scared and moodless for it. :/

Was suppose to meet @bby today... but it never happened. @Bby's granny was admitted to the hospital. I hope she will get well soon. :(

Head over to @Jol's afterthat and met Charcoal for the first time. SO CUTE.

And airport aftermath for a second interview with @Daphnie. Got my Nuance Watson lanyard. Waiting for the visitor pass to be okay naooooo. :)

So scared. First day of work on the 5th! x:

Okay back to topic. After that, bused to Budget terminal, and bused back to T2, and then to Tampines Mall to shop. Bought black shirt & a pair of pumps for work. Now, I'm only left with my pants.

ANYONE KNOW WHERE CAN BUY THOSE FORMAL PANTS? I NEED CHEAP ONES. RARELY WEAR SO I DON'T SEE THE NEED OF BUYING AN EXPENSIVE ONE.

Ate at Wendy's, Popular for my board & Sasa for her falsie. And bused home after that! :D

TADA. And I miss my girlszxc already.

How much longer must I miss my boyfriend too? :(

My boyfriend has no time for me...

Sigh. :(

Post #316

2011-08-31T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hi, I guess I haven't been updating this space much eh. I was out to IKEA the past few days. Yes, you didn't see wrong. The past 2-3 days. :/
Bought bed frame and TV console. And mom was like, why you don't want wait till Elvin come with us to IKEA then you buy all your things! II was like telling her, "I don't want him to hurt himself. His muscle was hurting the other day, and @Mei & I are strong girls, we can carry them!"

Yes indeed, the frames are super duper heavy okay! And I was like, why did Sin & Hermz quit IKEA for! If not they could have help me! *I wish* LOL.
You would have told me, "why don't you just let IKEA people deliver to your house and fix them up?"
Please think, mom and I observed the bed and realize, they can be fixed by ourselves. So why let IKEA earn the $60 delivery charge and the 8% of the total bill just for them to fix? HELL NO!
@Sister & I have a habit of fixing things ourselves and she kept bragging that she's a D&T student, nothing is impossible for her. Hmmm. Let's see then, shall we? :D

And oh, did I mention before that my ITouch album is spammed with my sister's camwhore?! I regret letting her know of that app. Seriously. Her's no more memory and she used mine to camwhore... and she' nagging me to upload the photos every SINGLE day... which I am currently lazy to. x:

And hey, I just spent $39 blogshopping. Noooooooooooooooooo! ):
At least mom said the clothes are nice~ :)

Out on a date with @bby on Monday. Town since I want my Pontian and Taka for Pique Nique to find @Kai. He said he would call me back for schedule and he didn't. So, I went to over since i have the time. ION's OCBC to take my pay, CASH. Bumped into @GJ at Cine Pontian too!

A little plain without photos hur? Like plain Jane. ):
Okay la, I'm lazy to sync my ITouch and all the photos are in there~ Okay okay, next time, I will sync and upload photos here okay! I promise! *fingers crossed*

And please, I need more readers back. :(
I don't mind if you stalk me~ LOL.

I'm afraid of crowds.

I feel like I'm being gobbled up whenever there's a crowd.

Blog Post #315

2011-08-15T05:49:00.000+08:00

Hello People!

Didn't blog for a month already! OMG.

Didn't know that I could do this. Really.!

Okay, hmm. Life is alright. Going to be 8th month anniversary for bby & I. Didn't know that we could last this long, despite all our arguments and everything. Sometimes, he really does pissed me off alot. And when I mean alot, I really do mean, A L O T.

But yet, he'll always apologize, even if it's not his fault. Taking all the blames himself. Sometimes, I feel really bless to have him as my boyfriend. Like seriously. (Okay, idk why my 'like seriously' is coming back after so long)

August 5th, bby's 19th birthday. He booked a BBQ pit over at PRP. Stayed over at his house on the 4th for the grocery shopping and everything. Was late as usual~ I didn't know that the guys are waiting for me over at JP. x:

Cuz in my mind, I was like, okay, they'll be late. So I will be late too.

I went to the bus stop and I realized, ALL THE SONGS IN MY IPOD WAS GONE. Fucking pissed off, I tell you! And then bby was like disturbing and laughing at me, which makes me feel even pissed. *Pfft*

2 fucking hours to sync the songs & games into my Ipod. )':

I really did cry that day. Pissed off till I cry.

Train over to JP to find them, but they were alr at the ShengShiong.. Bby didn't even tell me the correct directions! That add on to my frustrations since I was already over at Jurong East Station!

And so, I went along with whatever the sound in my head was telling me. I went to board the bus bby told me, I looked out for Shell Station and the police post. Guess what? I overshot. I alighted at the next stop and got really scared. I cried again. I'm a girl who don't know her directions. I'm a girl who's afraid of being in a new environment. I don't socialize, and this means, I won't ask people for directions. :/

Just as I was trying to calm myself down after looking around the place, I walked straight down, back to the previous stop bby told me, I turned and I saw ShengShiong. I WAS MAD HAPPY, I tell you! So I walked towards that directions, and then, I saw @XiDe, @Wilfred & @WeiHua when I was much nearer. EVEN HAPPIER.

2011-07-15T06:37:00.000+08:00

I Don't Need A Guy Who

Lies ,

Shows Me Attitude Because Of Another Girl ,

Keep Adding Girls In FaceBook

As My Boyfriend.

Yours Truly,

Me.

5 July 2011 (Tuesday)

2011-07-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

Half a month for not blogging. I'm already losing the feel to blog.

Yesterday, Had an argument with E. Sigh. ):

I'm a girl with alot of insecurities. I need assurance all the time and I dont know why.

I hate being left alone. I hate my doubts. I hate myself.

I deleted my boyfriend off facebook yesterday... and he added me back..

I tweeted that I hope all these that I've been feeling is just my pms, hoping that my period will come sooner, it did. My period came just now. Replied E's text apologizing and everything, and he replied that he dont deserve me...

After a few texts.. hee didnt reply me at all alr. Why wont you? You don't want to talk to me? You're gonna ignore me? You're not gonna talk to me? You sure you want me not to waste my time on you? You very sure? I'll give you until 9.30pm. If you're not gonna reply me, I've got nothing to say anymore.

I'm having mixed feelings now. Someone please tell me why..

Eh, Hello!

2011-06-15T02:57:00.000+08:00

Back to blogging.

Chance upon this phrase at ShiHui's blog.

I love you so much than you can ever imagine.you can never get how insecure I am.I rather you paranoid, I rather you get jealous easily. Only this, shows me how much you cherish, how much you love me. Right, this is what I'm feeling now. I afraid of losing, i get paranoid, I afraid there's someone out there, who are better for you.I hate it when you keep me waiting, I hate it when I cant do anything about it for getting jealous over .Yes, I'm selfish, I do pms very easily, I'm damn demanding, I've got higher dreams, I've got higher expectation, I'm a perfectionist, but it's me...

Yeah. It's sounds somewhat like me too. The third/fourth line, I really wish for that to happen.

I really wonder, why my boyfriend don't get jealous. I rather you get jealous over everything, than not getting jealous... They said, jealousy enhance relationship? Somewhat likely. Jealousy can pull us closer, letting us understand each other more. But, my boyfriend.. he don't get jealous easily.. I get annoyed sometimes over things that I want him to get jealous over. I got tired of trying to make him jealous that now, I gave up. I did once considered hugging any of my ex just to make him jealous. Told Xenia bout it, and she asked me not to do it. And so, that idea was put off.

I just googled , "how to make your boyfriend jealous" ... so I can get tips on how to make MINE JEALOUS. Wa, difficult job ah!
Okay, his birthday is in 2 months time.. Idk what to give him... :///
Someone give me ideas pleaseeeeeeee. :/

5 more days to our 6th month anniversary. This is really fast. It just seems like ytd is our 1st month. LOL. For our first 2 months, I was like, why so slow oneee. But after that, wa, getting very fast already eh.. Whoa. Okay. I need to get going.

*on a side note, I WANT TO ADOPT A PUPPYYYYYYY! *

ByeBye! <3

Feel like trying to do a vlog ah. :/

2011-06-10T02:48:00.001+08:00

I somehow

miss being single.

Sentosa w my pig and his co!

2011-06-10T01:12:00.000+08:00

Did I mention I went over to Sentosa on Saturday with boyfriend and his co?

Awesome day, although I couldn't went into the sea for a swim. == YA. MAYBE I SHOULD STOP REMINDING MYSELF OF THAT. ==
Blame it on my period then. Prepared to go to Sentosa for a swim that day, and my period came the day before. FML CAN! >:(

Wilfred & I stayed on shore, while watching the others enjoying themselves in the sea. :/
He was sitting beside me on the map and I kept complaining why I cannot get into the water. ))):
Then boyfriend came up and walked towards us, and I was like telling Wilfred, "Eh, Elvin fat already leh. Look at his stomach bobbing up & down." WE KEPT LAUGHING NON-STOP AT THIS STATEMENT LOR! Joke.

Photos spam and headed over to Vivo for dinner and home. All so sweet! Bus me to my house then all of them bus home tgt. x:
But guilty much, I live East & they live West leh. :/
1hr&30mins to 2hrs ride home fore them. :/
THANKS & SORRY! :D

Shanice & I !

A trip to Genting

2011-06-09T02:53:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps! I'm back to updating this dead blog after not updating for so long. Sorry!

Was on a trip to Genting with my usuals from Monday to Wednesday!

I just got home just now after dinner with boyfriend, Jovy & Roy @ Bedok Point's Fish Manhattan Market. Boyfriend stayed until 11.15pm before heading home. I don't want him to miss the last train ah. :/

But yet, at the same time, I don't wish for him to leave so early! ):

Going for some volunteering work with Roy & sister later in the morning. PLAYING WITH KIDS OKAY. I like~

Shall update the rest of everything later if I have the time!

Byeeeee!

Happy 5th Monthsary

2011-05-20T03:25:00.000+08:00

Hellooooooo! It's 20th again. Hohoho.
Happy 5th to my stupid big fat boyfriend. Hehehe. <3

Thanks for tolerating my temper tantrum oh!
I love you laaaa! Stop saying you love my fats because I'm gonna lose them very soon. Muahahaha!
Quickly help me jailbreak my Itouchhhh! Hao bu hao! Pfft.

Sorry for working today, but I shall accompany you out tmr! OKAY! ^^

SAY HI TO DAMIENNNN! ^^

This boy here ah, keep snatch my ITouch from Chloe! LOL.

And, say Hi to Chloe tooooo!

She chose that effect herself! <3

My boyfriend act cute la sial.

Chloe was ready for camera, she pressed "SNAP" then she got distracted by the laptop buttons. ):

And I just realized ah, these 2 photos pose like the same one.

Except for the smile la, duh.

Like boyfriend, like girlfriend. Tsk!

Okay readers, you don't run away ah. I want to earn money from nuffnang one eh. Please help okay! Hehehe. I love you people, but I love my boyfriend more. Muahahahaha. <3

Speaking of trust

2011-05-14T04:18:00.002+08:00

I cannot helped it, but my tears kept flowing down non stop. Someone please stop it from flowing down. I don't want my pretty face to be ruin...

I've already made it very clear that, if anyone wanted my trust, you gotta work very hard. Mainly it's because, I don't trust anyone, and I can't.
Sometimes, I wonder, why others can trust people so easily, and I can't. And I figured it out. People used to mis-use my trust and slowly, I lost confidence in trusting people.
Saying, "I trust you ah!" is only a sentence. But deep inside, nobody really trust anyone.

I've always wanted to trust people. But it's the voice inside me that told me not to. And my heart telling me, "I can't take anymore lies. Please don't trust anyone anymore." And slowly, my mind understood that and refuse to take in anything anyone said.

Trusting people, is already blocked out from my body. I don't trust anyone anymore. I'm numbed by everything.

Not trusting anyone, allows me to protect myself from getting hurt. It is selfish, I know. But, not trusting anyone, is my way of protecting myself. I have a wall in front of me, protecting me too.

Get the key, open the door and step inside the place that is behind the wall. I might not let you in the little house behind the wall. But please, figure the way in.

Just as I was starting to trust you, you went to Rebel without telling me. Then, you said that it's only when I asked then you'll tell me. Okay. My fault.
My fault for working ytd. My fault for not checking Facebook earlier. My fault for not asking you earlier. Happy? Everything's my fault. Happy now?

Go grind the pretty girls, get them and yourself drunk, and go & do whatever guys are capable of. I can't be bothered anymore. I give up.

Why won't you realize that I HATE you going to clubs... WHY?

And guess what, it's 14 May today.
14
May

Sigh

2011-05-12T02:36:00.000+08:00

I can be a selfish bitch who's hated by everyone.
I CAN.

Feeling so sucky now and idk why. I feel so, empty in the inside. I guess nobody will ever read my blog again. I don't give a damn anymore. :/

I like keeping things to myself. I always kept things to myself. I don't like to share them. I hate giving burdens to my friends. I don't want them to worry for me... I just don't like it.

I've quitted school long ago. Life seems so boring now. Everyday work work work. Although it's only a part time, I enjoy myself. But, the same routine goes on and on and I'm sick & tired of it.

I hate getting approached by companies asking me to join their modelling agency and whatever shit while walking/shopping. I appreciate, but no thanks. I have my own life. And I can't pull off with a fake smile in cam, but yet in real life, I succeed in faking one.

Barry texted me just now, asking me if I wanna go over to JooChiat and help out with EwF. :/
Idk. All my friends are over at Oc 's EwF. I don't know if I want to...
Having a second thought tho, cause it's very near my house.

But not now when Noel is still with us for I know I'll miss him dearly after he left.

Being at Jc 's EwF might be fun, cuz I can learn many new things. But, I'm so anti social.. I won't make any friends.. Shy girl ah. :////

Shall consider again.

Am in a very bad mood and I don't know why. ):
Like, suddenly one.. and I showed my attitude + temper to whoever talked to me just now. I guess I need some private times alone again..

I hate myself.

EWF Spring Cleaning day~~~

2011-05-11T06:00:00.000+08:00

Worked night shift ytd and it was Noel, Jovy & me again! Awesome. It has been us for like, the past few days. Hehe.

Then, Swee dropped by. And we did closing AT 10pm. Ya, I caps that word. AT. All of us were damn tired. Then Swee began cleaning this & that, and in the end, we ended up having spring cleaning for EwF. HAHAHA!

It's so fun with them around! Ah Ping, Jac, Swee, Noel & Jovy. OH! Wilson & Edward dropped by while we're spring cleaning halfway! ^^
Finished everything at 1am+++ Noel & I tried pulling out the ice maker machine. Behind WAS SO DIRTY. OEMGEE. Wilson sacrifice himself and he climb into the small hole just to wipe the floor. He look exactly like one small kid like that. So cute! LOL. And mop didn't help us at all. ):
& so, I was saying, " Wilson, lucky you're wearing black instead of white ah!" LOL.

Took out super loads of things and re-packed them.

Noel & Swee kept saying, "$1 for 3 tries only ah!" HAHAH. All of us was so tired, but we got so energetic as it's nearing midnight.
I can't believe Noel & I went to the dump for like, 3 times?! Yeah. But like fun leh.

Oh, this is what happen to Jovy's shirt when she bend over the ice maker machine to pick up rubbish behind it.

Say Hi to Captain Noel & the rubbish! <:

After spring cleaning, head over for some supper with Noel, Jac & Jovy.

Ordered Lala, Stingray, You Cai & Hotplate Tofu with Jovy whereas Jac & Noel ordered noodles.
Shared and we got super fullllll! ^^
After supper, it was around 2am+. We shared ghost stories. Hehe. And Noel kept scaring Jac! And with his effects, Jovy got scared. ==
And guess what, I had to send her to her doorstep, watch her step into her house, then I can go. WALAOS.

But okay la, the cab driver waited for me. HAHAHA. & company's gonna pay the cab fare. Not me. (:
Home sweet home after that.

300th Post

2011-05-08T04:22:00.000+08:00

I Love You, silly.

Because you're always there.

You manage to bring a smile to my face.

I don't say out, doesn't mean I don't.

You don't have to wonder/worry so much.

Sometimes, I just need private times of my own.

Love you, okay? ♥

I can be difficult at times.

I just want you to prove that you love me.

NOT only by words.

Happy Fourth Monsary, my love. I Love You.

2011-04-21T05:09:00.000+08:00

I wanted to upload photos here. But, it's all in my harddisk & it's with my friend. :/

Anyway, today is 20 April 2011.
HAPPY 4rd, my love. Love you!
Sorry for the attitude just now and like, the few days back. Had already warn you that I might show you attitude and get pissed off real easily during my pms, and you replied with, "Me as your boyfriend is suppose to put up with anything for you. " <3

Love you la! Hehe. I actually smiled non stop after receiving that text. (':

Thank you for being there, no matter how pissed, upset, or whatever shit I am. You tried all means just to see me smile again. Thanks for bringing that smile onto my face. (: <3

Lavender in the afternoon to renew my passport, Wendy's for lunch, Iluma for movie, Mos for dinner & off to Marina Square.
Zara for my cardi cause I thought I lost mine... ==
Then we went to buy my slipper, & I ended up buying 2 pumps too. LOL.

Headed over to Waraku to find Diana & Jovy @ work.

And trained home myself with them after that. Because you have to rush home to sleep as you have school the next day. ):
Study hard okay, my dear. I don't want to see you fail in your studies again & I don't want you to be so negative about yourself anymore. GET IT?
LOVE YOU, Elvin Teo. <3

2011-04-19T05:40:00.001+08:00

You made me think alot.
No, you never gave me a chance. What's there to talk now...?

Life still goes on. We've drifted. I just disappeared. From, your life. I'm a.. stranger now. We won't say hi, or a smile, or even a nod anymore, do we..? :/

We have our own, clique. I stayed. You left.

Oh well..

Bye,

updated in wordpress at http://asimplegameoflove.wordpress.com
Thanks. Might be shifting over there very soon..

2011-04-18T01:39:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating much. Wasn’t really in the mood. :/

Life has been great so far. What about yours? I still don’t really know to to use this wordpress thingyyy~ Can anyone teach me or something? x:

Okay, I sounds super noob. But who cares hur. (:

This week is gonna be a hectic week for me, I guess.

Monday : 4pm

Tuesday: Full Shift

Wednesday : OFF!

Thursday : 4pm

Friday : 4pm

Saturday & Sunday : OFF!

Okay… I just realized I can’t coloured the words.. WHO CAN TEACH ME?!?!

Actually wanted to stop studying. Because I seriously have no mood to study & I am not the “study” material type of girl. But then, friends around me has been pycho-ing me alot of stuffs and these eventually get into my head. I’m only 18 this year. With only an O’Level cert. Where can I go in future? I’ve search through the web & found out that alot of companies only hire people with a diploma, minimum. :/

EMO.

And guess what? I’m going private. Yes I am. But which school? Kaplan, TMC or Shatec? :/

Many friends said Kaplan. But I ain’t sure. The requirement stated in their website is not clear. I only have 3 OLevel credit, which causes me to being able to get into many private school. ):

Minimum of 5 OLevel credit in needed for most of them. Tsk. Why must I give up studying when I was in sec 4. :/

Why do I only start to ‘chiong’ my studies 3 months before OLevel?! Sigh.

The above photo seriously made me laugh. My Primary 4 cousin IS WASHING THE CROCODILE. HAHAHAHA!!!

I miss my boyfriend. It’s a week since I last saw him! ): I miss Chloe too! )): I miss his dogs too! ))):

Time to go. I’m having a headache. How to cure it hur? :/

Friends

2011-04-17T08:03:00.000+08:00

Because I've left so abruptly, I don't want any of you to forget me.

I do cherish you guys, but, I can't handle the stress anymore...

We should meet up soon.

I do misses you guys, the times we hang out, Together.

Xoxo

Might be moving over to wordpress, I suppose.

2011-03-23T22:33:00.002+08:00

Happy 3rd.

2011-03-21T03:50:00.001+08:00

Happy 3rd monthsary, my love. You've been there whenever I need you. You're the best I've met. It isn't long that we're together, but you've been pampering me and treating me like your princess & I like it. A few days back wasn't memorable. Arguments due to my jealousy. I really can't take it anymore. ):

Ignored for for a whole day. Not replying or picking up your calls. Having my sis to tell you that I'm not home. Despite me ignoring you, you still went over to check out my twitter knowing that I update my twitter more often. With you worrying over one of my tweet, makes me realize, you really do care about me.

It's not that I don't want to trust you, my dear. Is that I cannot bring myself to trust anyone. Everytime I tried to trust someone, I got hurt. And so, gradually, I began to lose trust in everyone. Even my own parents. My parents are much more important than you in me. Even I can't trust them, what makes me think that I can trust you...

I tend to not trust people, so I won't get hurt. Have I ever told you that this relationship with you, I tried my best to overcome my fear. Cannot believe? I have phobia in relationship. Yes I do. Am trying my very best. Hang on in there, I can do it.

And I love you, yes I do.

Reflection

2011-03-18T03:29:00.002+08:00

I'm not a strong lady. I used to think, I am strong and I'll be strong. But how wrong I am. I'm super weak. I'm super fragile. I cry easily. I get jealous over small stuffs easily. Usually, I'll talk things out. But if that thing really hurts me alot, I tend to escape. Escape from this world, this reality. This feeling sucks.

I tried to face. I tried my very best. But I still can't. I guess, this is my personality that I can't change. Outside, I may seems strong and such. Inside, I'm super super weak. Ask my close friends. They've seen my worst, accepted my worst and everything. That's why I feel so free around them. I feel so, happy. And of course, in return, I showed them my best too.

I can be a good listening ear to everyone. Not a good advisor though. But, I can never understand why, I can never be my own listening ear, I can never be my own advisor. Every morning on my bed before I fall asleep, I tell myself to be strong, to stay strong. But then, tears just flow down by itself. No matter how much I tried to stop them from flowing down, they won't stop.

Pillow's stained with my tears. Out of curiosity, I tasted my tears. They taste super bland. And I always thought, tears are suppose to be salty? Oh, or is it that, tears with feelings are salty? Tears caused by numb feeling are bland and tasteless? I'm numb. Numb by everything.

Wasted 2 days at home. But what is this? 2 days are nth, I'm just getting closer to my death. The world's ending in 2012, remember? Come on, be quick. 2012, come quickly. I want to see my fate. Do you know that staying on Earth is so, difficult? Let me put it this way, having a life is difficult.

Why am I born a human? A complicated human? A human with all these stupid emotional stuffs? They hurt. They make me weaker. And I hate it. Everytime I stood strong, I will still fall whenever I saw my friends. Why am I such a weakling?

Everyday before I stepped out of this house, from that gate, I practice my smile. To make sure they're perfect.
Every time when I wake up, I tell myself, smile for today, don't be upset. But, I failed. I'm upset almost everyday, I guess.

So easy to put up a strong front. But behind that fake smile and strong front, I wonder how many tears have rolled down my cheek, how many times I've told myself that I suck in everything, how long have that scars been there and how long more do I have to stay this way.
Look at those hard work behind that smile and front?

Friends always thought I'm happy all the time. But they are not me, and they'll never be me. All the things that happened in the past and now, etched in my mind. In my memories. Unhappy & happy.

I don't want to have memories. I want to get into a car accident and lost all memories. Even those happy ones. Because I want to have new memory. I want to be happy. All those past memories will only pull me down whenever I want to stand strong.

Everytime I seems to be down and my friends happen to sense it, they will ask, "Are you okay?" As usual, I will answer that I'm alright. But inside my heart, I am screaming, " I'm not! I'm not alright! " But, this can never be let out. Because I don't want them to worry.

我希望我可以坚强一点
我希望我可以变开心一点
每天带着一个假的笑容出门很辛苦

I'll be okay tmr. I promise. At least I hope so? Just give me some time.

The reason I got so upset and everything, is because I STILL mind her being your ex. I don't know why. And what I'm feeling now, is just, so new to me. I just don't know how to control it yet. And because it hurts me so much, I tend to escape. I just don't like how she contacted you, and you didn't tell me. When my ex contacted me, I told you. Why won't you tell me that she contacted you? WHY? Afraid that I'll be what I'm feeling now? If you told me earlier, I'll be better. I still can accept it better. And what's with you starting a topic with, "How's life?" That's a topic that can be continued. Do you wish to talk to her more? Let me know then. I will know what to do. I know it's my fault to browse through your acc. I can let you browse through mine too, if you want.

And they said, jealousy kills. I agree.

Psychological fact - When someone tear, the first drop from the right means happiness and the first drop from the left is pain.

Mine? From the left.

I hate how I'm falling apart in the inside.

For 11:11 & 12:34 just now, I wished & hoped that everything will be okay.

StereoLove~ ♥

2011-03-16T07:00:00.001+08:00

Pig is bathing now~~~

So I shall update this space over here. I've been sort of neglected this space huh! ):
Was blog-hopping & shopping just now. LOL.

What is this! I've been blog-shopping!!! ):
My dress arrived, and I've bought another 2 new pieces of clothing. Shit. Expenses for this month is so gonna increase! *insert sad face*

Back to LAST Monday. CCK College for interview for new course. Wasn't successful though. ): !
Nvm. Wanted to lunch at college itself, but Desmond don't want. Say what nice food de close le. Tsk! Bused to JP for LJS instead. Stupid Desmond kept disturbing me! ):

Before that, in the morning, I waited for boyfriend at JE & 4 trains passes before he reached! Dua Pai hur! >:(
I didn't sleep the day before because I'm afraid that I'll be late for the interview. ):
Got ready in the morning, applied mild makeup and off I went to the west.

Got bored while waiting for the teachers & so, I camwhored. x:

Girl what. Confirm will de leh~ Hehe. While I was being interviewed, boyfriend camwhored too okay! Still so auto take out my ITouch play games & listen songs. Zzzzz! So auto huh!!! Hmmphf!

Headed over to boyfriend's house to have my beauty sleep. ^^

Took care of Chloe with him when the family went somewhere. And that cutiepie just doesn't want to have her beauty sleep! ):

I still remember this was the day I cough until I vomitted! )':

Sadgirl~

But now I feel much better le . Hehe. <:

I was seriously sleeping like a pig lor! I didn't know if I snore or not. Zzzz. Boyfriend woke me up at night! ):

But I keep don't want wake up. Tired ah! ): He got no choice. So ask Chloe come in disturb my sleep. BAD BOYFRIEND!

Prepared and he sent me home then off he went to Chalet. Seriously, boyfriend looks super cute when he's carrying a backpack. LOL!

Chloe, the cutiepie. Hehe.<3

Shall up date more in the next post! I'm forcing myself to think back what exactly happened the last few days. SIGH. It's so difficult! ):

I shall head to bed naoooo. Good Night & Candy Dreams, everyone! ^^

Last but not least,

I love my boyfriend

Elvin Teo ♥

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

Belated Pulau Ubin trip with boyfriend & co.

2011-03-15T07:44:00.000+08:00

Hi. I'm here to blog. Sorry for not blogging much. No "fwiuling"(feeling) ah.
Hehe.
Awesome ice skating today with boyfriend.

This is the only pic I uploaded. The rest, I'm oh so lazy. x:

My sister said she don't like this photo because dear looks.. pervertic. JOKE!

Shall update bout today in another post~

I think ah, Last Friday? 4 March 2011
Pulau Ubin with boyfriend, WeiHua, Desmond, Wilfred & ShiHao.
Wore boyfriend shirt on the outside as boyfriend was afraid that I'll get my shirt dirty. It was raining that dayyy! ):
Find them for lunch at Bedok then we went off to Simei ITE first to look for WeiHua & ShiHao had to collect his cert!
WeiHua went to school for extra lesson, I think. Awwww.
Bus 2 to Changi. It was not really raining at first. But when we got onto the boat and halfway through the journey, it started drizzling! ))):

Cycled until my butt sore like shit. My bag also dirty! ):
MY PINK BAGGGGG!!!!!!! )))':

Nice view huh! Th efforts are not wasted. (:
Then, dinner at the coffeeshop at Pulau Ubin. Awesome view. It's been so long since I last cycled. ):

ShiHao still asked, "Eh, cute or not, let me see" ==

Cute laaaa. LOL!

I'm glad shifu blocked me~

Say Hi to Desmond!

Wilfred too!

Boyfriend is eating my sweet, no wonder there's something inside his mouth. ==

ShiHao the towel ah, forever on his head one. ==

Stayed overnight at boyfriend's place aftermath. All of them bused home with me and waited for an hr below my block to get ready. Hehe. x: WeiHua went off first, because he's attending Serene's birthday BBQ or something? Yeap.

Trained back to Pioneer. ShiHao drove us out for supper! Hehehe. TaoHuey & Yutiao! Cancelled the prata plan because I got pissed off with boyfriend for laughing at me together with ShiHao they all about me afraid of cockroaches. What's so funny bout it, seriously?! It's normal for a girl to be afraid of them! The worst is, he never apologize to me about it. That's why I got pissed with him.

He finally apologized like 15mins after we reached his house. ==

KNS sial!!! Then I okay alr. LOL. What I want, is just a sorry from him. LOL. Slept till I dunno what time the next day. Chloe came in & out of the room and disturb us. JOKE. Helped to bathe Chloes since she PEE-ED in her underwear. == Then my turn to bathe and everything, brought Chloe out to Mac for lunch after that. She so cute la. HAHAH.

Boyfriend, "JiuJiu bring you to Mac want?"
Chloe, "Don't want"
Boyfriend, " JieJie bring you to mac?"
Chloe, "Okay."
Boyfriend, "JiuJiu leh?"
Chloe, "Don't want!"
Me, "Chloe, JieJie bring you go Mac, JiuJiu also need to go leh. Okay?"
Chloe look at boyfriend, look at me, look at boyfriend, back at me then say, "Okay lor."

Wah Joke, I tell you. Chloe sibei cute. Brought her back, went to boyfriend's room, and we began watching the horror shows he downloaded for me. Hehehe. But not scary! ): Cheat my feelings~!

Out at 8+pm & met up with ShiHui, Shanice, Desmond & ShiHao at JP for a movie~

The Adjustment Bureau! Not bad! I was disturbing boyfriend throughout the movie. x:

Back to boyfriend's house then & ShiHao drove me home. That asshole! Scare me with cockroaches for these 2 days!!! And I literally scream at the top of my voice with eyes close for 5-10secs when he suddenly turn around and said, "CAREFUL, GOT COCKROACH!" while walking. FML. And it was like, 12+am alr. ==

Boyfriend calmed me down and I stared at SH. Then I chased after him and punched him in the arm after jumping on him. JOKE.

Desmond tell me, next time if go Jurong, bring mouse. So, I'm gonna borrow a fake toy mouse from sis to scare SH alr! WALAU LOR! ))):

Home aftermath~~~

I'll update the rest another time okay! DAMN TIRED. SORRY!!!!! ):

2011-03-13T06:04:00.000+08:00

I'll blog soon!

I promise kay! *cross fingers*

On a side note, this baby lizard has been exploring my house for weeks and I couldn't bare to kill it because it looks damn cute. But now that it's on the ceiling above me, I'm so afraid that it would drop on my head!

BABYYYYYY, WHERE ARE YOUUUU? HELP ME KILL THIS LIZARDDD! )))))':

Get worried when the girl don't even give a fucking care, dude.

2011-03-11T04:47:00.003+08:00

Boy: I broke up with her.

His Best Friend: What happened?

Boy: She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about youa lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy: Well, she..

His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

Happy Belated Second Monthsary! ♥

2011-02-28T09:46:00.000+08:00

It's been so long I last posted!
Sorry readers! ):

I'm back. (:
Boyfriend is sleeping. and I'm awake. sigh. Headache just now and it sucks? ):
Anw, that's not what I'm gonna blog about okay!
Back to blogging~

Okay, I was basically working this whole week! ):
Damn tiring! But wasn't working on Friday & Sunday. Hehe.
Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs was working like shit.

Friday (25/02/11)
Out to the west to find boyfriend!
Movie at Jurong Point. 127hours!
It was so nice and gross at the same time okay!!! Fancy a guy cutting his own arm because it got stuck! Ewwwww. If it's me, I will choose suicide. Confirm. Had that talk with boyfriend that day and he too, had the same idea. Hehe.
But seriously, I admire him. He has the guts to cut off his arm so that he will be able to survive. (Y)
It's based on true story okayyy!
YOU GUYS SHOULD WATCH IT. SERIOUSLYYYYY!!!! Definitely recommended! By me. Hehe.

Then walked over to boyfriend's house to stay for the night because his friends wasn't able to send me home.
GuoJie & WeiHua came over to disturb all night long! Watching videos on youtube & laughing so hard. Boyfriend was sleeping like a pig beside me and leaving me alone with his mum's laptop! ):
We seriously like criminals in jail lor! Boyfriend don't allow both guys to come in, say what house too many ppl. Later they disturb their sleep. LOL. So, they stood outside the window, boyfriend pass them their laptop and thus, they're using the laptop from the window. LOL. Seriously, I feel like laughing. *imagine them okay!*

Then they were like asking us if we wanted to go Mac for supper and I was damn tempted because I was so fucking hungry! Nudge boyfriend but he was too tired sleeping like a pig at the same time and thus giving it a miss. So, I didn't go lor. Thanks to boyfriend hur! He made me starve all the way till afternoon around 12.30pm, I guess? The time we woke up. Such a bad host!
He bought me 2 buns to make up my stomach because I was damn hungry and I have to rush for work. If I have known I have to rush for work, I would pack my work uni into my bag lorrr! then I don't have to rush home. Tsk!
Was not feeling damn well after I woke up, guess it was my stomach's fault huh! Noel guessed the gastric juice or something? Sigh. ))):

Saturday (26/02/11)
work again. Sigh.

Sunday (27/02/11)
Slept like a pig ytd. x:
Woke up at 5.30pm because boyfriend is going to bring me go kite flyingggg! <:
But this dream was crashed when they reached at 7pm! KNS.
Okay la, not to blame since boyfriend & WeiHua went for job interview just now before Mark drove them over to my place and fetched me to Jurong. Thanks Mark! <:
Parked at boyfriend's house there carpark and we walked over to JP's LaiLai for dinner!
Mark rushed off for dinner with his family I guess, so left with me, boyfriend & WeiHua.
Rang up GuoJie and asked him to join us for movie.

"Unknown" is not bad eh! WeiHua didn't want to watch initially because he thinks that the show sucks. HAHA. But it turned out otherwise~ Nice. (:
Then, walked over to ShiHao's blk and GuoJie went home. Walked back to baby's blk and all of them drove me home. Hehe. Planned for TaoHuey supper at Rocher. But it was closing soon. So baby bought me soya drink then they drove me home. A goodnight & goodbye kiss and here I am sitting in front of the comp alr. Okay, I'm missing boyfriend alr laaaaa. ))):

Okay, let's talk bought last week then.
DimSum Buffet with usuals! On the 20th Feb if I ain't wrong! (:
Happy 2nd monthsary with baby!!!! Hehe.

Buffet at Habourfront in the morning, followed by sticky at ClarkeQuay.
Let the photo do the talking then.
I've had alot of fun with them. Seriously. <:

I look hideous here. But I don't care. LOL.

Boyfriend, Please don't be jealous, I love her. Hehe. <3

Went off to find baby in the evening. Poor him. He slept so little yet I got kind of pissed off with him for pushing back 1 hr of our meeting time. ): He was studying all night long until 11am then went to bed. And dragged himself out of the bed at 4 pm when we're suppose to meet at 4pm.
Sorry baby, for not being an understanding girlfriend. ):
Sigh. Am I really a bad girlfriend? ):

Dinner at Popeyes and watched "What Woman Wants" cuz baby complained that it's been a long time since he last watched chinese movies. LOL. Both of us fell asleep in the cinema at some time. Sigh. And I got quite irritated with their China accent like seriously. I rate it 2.5/5 stars? x:
Bumped into Eva too btw. HAHAH.

After the movie, baby bused me home and chill out at my house for a little while before going home despite feeling so tired. (: <3
At around 11pm, sent baby down, gave me goodnight kiss and off he went home alr. ):

And that sums up my whole week.
Am heading over to Roy's crib later at night for a stayover with usuals after supper at 85 with them. Hehehe. <3
Shall charge my cam now. So I can spam photos. (:
&&& I am going to Pulau Ubin to cycle with baby and co this coming Friday or Saturdayyy! Excited maximummm! Hehehe. <:
Friday & Saturday quickly reachhh. ^^

Okay, I guess I shall head to bed now so I will have my energy tonight. (:
Good Night/Morning!

Last but not least,
I love my boyfriend,
Elvin Teo ♥

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

.

2011-02-23T06:15:00.001+08:00

Hi WanZhen, you know what?

I look down on you.

Why can't you be as strong & as independent as before?

Why?

Why not like the past anymore?

You're still the old you, okay?!

Don't fall.

STAY STRONG, BITCH.

Busy away at Tumblr & I neglected my blogspot. ):

2011-02-22T04:30:00.002+08:00

Heya readers!
How's your day?

Okay, I shall update this space soon. I can't load my photos into my laptop because there's no more space. ): !
But I'll still try my best okay? Please don't run away~
Okay, baby's having his exam tmr and I'm worried for him. I'm afraid he won't be able to wake up on time. HOW!
And I can't possibly wait till 8 am to wake him up, because he just went to bed. And it's already 0400!
Was busy at tumblr just now, reblogging loads of posts. ^^

Okay, time to hit the sack too. Eyes are really shutting. ))):
GoodNight! & I promise you guys that I'll update and upload those photos soon alrights! <:
Anw, please follow me at Twitter here & Tumblr at here!
ThankYou very muchhh! :Dv

I have awesome friends!

2011-02-18T04:08:00.001+08:00

Hello readers!
I feel so stupid because I've been blogging bout my boyfriend in this space and neglecting my friends.
THEY SHOULD BE IN THIS SPACEEEE! Okay, so, I'm gonna blog about them here in this post. <:

9 February 2011
Okay. On 9February2011, headed over to Roy's crib for steamboat session with my favourite usuals! ^^
I was late. As usual~ they started without me! But it's okay! They know I'm always late. Lol!

See la, out of the 3, 2 busy eating, only Kitson looking at my cam. LOL.

Ate a little, then started to camwhore with them!

Vannie!

Roy!

YanXun!

Diana!

Kitson!

Walau! The shots with Kitson ah, seriously take alot of times leh! Cuz keep blur. HAHAHA!

Aaron!

ZiJie!!!

Jovy!

After eating, all of us rested awhile then, what else came? Of course is poker la! Who won't play poker during CNY? Lol! YanXun won alot siol! Then me? ): Okay la, at least I won, but only $4. Thanks to ZiJie! <:

Had a great time with them! They gamble big. Like seriously. Awesome much. they can take out one whole stack of red notes to play one. Damn (Y).
And after gambling, linger around for a while, then off, we went home.

13/14 February 2011
Cousin came over to my house for baking session on the 13th. She wanted to bake rainbow cupcakes and I wanted to bake my cookies! And so, we started to bake.

And I received a call from Roy asking me to rush down to Esplanade and said that Kitson's waiting for me down there, and I was like, "Huh? What happen? "
He didn't tell me anything.
And so, after he hanged up, Kitson called me up, asking me to rush down too. Okay, at this time, I was abit worried already. Because the other day at Roy's, Kitson told us a 'secret'. And I was like thinking, uh-oh, did he failed?
So, I rushed down, leaving my cousin at my house to bake alone! I feel so bad. ):
Went to bathe and everything, cabbed down to the Esplanade to find them. Guess what? They rushed me down for drinking session at Harry's. KNS.

At least Kitson paid for my cab expenses that night, and I didn't have to pay for the liquor I drank.
Aaron, Roy & Kitson were my first Valentine that day. LOL.
Cuz I met them at 12+am on the 14th. HAHAHAHAHA!

Walked over to BQ because town seems like there's no night life. There's not much people at BQ too! And then we realized, it's Sunday. -.-
How stupid. McDonalds for supper and my dinner cuz I haven't eaten anything yet. Only I bought a meal. HAHAHA!
Then after finishing our food, I was like, eh, we can actually walked over to BK for Minced Meat Noodle leh. So the guys were like, "It's okay, we can walked over there to have our second meal!" LOL!
So we walked over there, past by baby's and friends usual 'drinking place' , Bar X.

Who knows, BK was closed. So we walked over to Zirca & SOHO to see if they're open since it's Sunday.
Yeap, they're open! and then the guys said I'm a burden for wearing slipper. ))):
KNS. they want go in, they go in la, I don't really have the need to club what.

Wanted to walk over to Zouk too, but then, decided not to anymore! <:
So, we walked back to Esplanade then cabbed home. (:
reached home around 3+am.

And oh, I haven't showed you guys the cookies I baked for boyfriend ryite?
He took these photos and I went to grabbed it.

This is the box and the ribbon baby chose for himself, not knowing I'm gonna give him this box. LOL.

See! I'm such a good girlfriend. Oops. I super long never bake already uh!!! x:
Oh ya, that toy dog is his. HAHAHA. The previous post, the photos, are uploaded by him too. NOT ME. He saved it as draft, and I help him publish only. LOL.

Okay, gotta go! Update real soon! I can feel the blogging sensation back already. Lol.
Last but not least,
I Love My Boyfriend,
Elvin Teo ♥

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

Sweet and lovely Cookies

2011-02-18T03:56:00.000+08:00

My Awesome Valentine

2011-02-17T06:10:00.000+08:00

Hello Readers!

How's your Valentine Day?
Well, I have an awesome and fabulous Valentine Day! <:

Met boyfriend at City Hall first.
Was suppose to meet at 6.30pm but both of us were late and reach the place around 7pm at the same time. LOL.

He appeared with a bouquet of flowers which I thought I will never receive flowers from him.
Well, my boyfriend is not those who knows how to sweet talk a girl or do romantic stuffs.
He's my shy boy.
I was surprised by that flower.
Very surprised.
Like seriously! (((:
At that moment when I saw him, and that flowers, my face lid up.
Butterflies in my stomach, again.
Well, butterflies often fly in my stomach when I see him~ Hehe.

He wrapped the flowers himself okayyy!!!
I'm so proud of him!
Baby, I love you!!!

NewYork NewYork for our dinner date and please luhh! THEIR SERVINGS ARE SO BIG.
And in the end, baby had to help me finish mine after finishing his meal. Hehe. <3

The food look yummy ryiteeee!!!

Make me hungry again. ):

I'm so going to NewYork NewYork again!!!

Hehe.

Marina Barrage after that for a double date with ShiHao & JingTing. <:

Don't call me a mountain tortoise. But it's my first time there~~~

Cab over there from Esplanade. but that cab driver don't even know how to go there in the first place! Baby's damn pissed. Because cab driver kept going around in circles. And the meter fare kept going up. In the end, baby asked the cab driver to stop somewhere secluded and he called up ShiHao and asked him to fetch us over to Marina Barrage instead. <:
Thanks yo!

I don't know why, but my boyfriend like to snap photos of me when I'm not looking. ))):

He's my 24/7 stalker. Hehe.

Okay, back to Marina Barrage. It's so windyyy! I likeyyy. Hehe. I was wearing heels the whole time. Sigh. Sore legs afterthat. >: But as soon as JT & me set up the mat, I took off my wedge. (:

We girls sat on the mat whereas the guys sat on the grass. Aww. Kelian. But hey! We allow you guys to lie on our laps kay!

And JT was telling me about how time changes. Last time is we lie on the guys, but now, is our boyfriends lying on our laps. Sigh. LOLOL. Speaking of this, I want to show off that my boyfriend's stomach super nice to lie on leh. So comfy. But hor, he everytime purposely breathe so hard, his stomach goes up & down, my head also goes up & down together. KNS. -.-

Boyfriend said this damn artistic. Lol! He asked me to take out my camera just so that he could take all these photos eh. Lol! And he forced me to upload these into my fb lor. Tsk!

Baby took this! Nice ryiteeee!!!! Hehe. He said he likes this photo and asked me to put this as my facebook display photo. Haha! But seriously la hor, I like too! (:

I didn't know baby knows how to take all this photo leh. Hehe. <3

Baby's expression in this photo damn cute. I likeyyy~ <3

Back to topic.

It's so windy at Marina Barrage! I was wearing a dress leh. Then keep almost zao geng. ):

Lucky baby was lying on my lap then he managed to block using his big head and he helped me pull my dress down so that I won't zao geng. HAHAHAHA.

Walau eh. He lie until my leg numb leh! His head so heavy!!! But he got help me massage la. Very sweet eh! Hehe.

Oh ya, see that shirt he's wearing? Not his lor! Is his bro's one! HAHAH! He wore it since his bro is out of country. And he forgot to bring out his bro's DSLR. ))):

Left at 3am+? Yeap. ShiHao drove me home again. (:

THANKYOUUU! See la, baby, you should get your driving licence soon! So that we won't be troubling your friends all the time! And that I can stay out as late as possible with you la!!! (:

It's been so long I last posted eh? Don't really have the feeling to blog recently and I don't know why. ):

I'll try to blog as much as possible okay? I try only. x:

I've been losing alot of my readers since there's a period of time I totally didn't blog. Sigh. I'm back alreadyyy! Please continue to read, okay? Love you guysss! <:

And click on my nuffnang~

Last but not least,

I love my boyfriend,

Elvin Teo ♥

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

Tmr is Valentine!

2011-02-13T19:02:00.003+08:00

Tmr Valentine Day! Hehe.
Can't wait. <:

PMS got the worst of me alr la.
Sian.

Am baking later! ^^
Couzzie gonna bake her rainbow cupcakes whereas I'm gonna bake my cookies. Hehe.
I everytime bake cupcakes, neglecting my cookies.
Then now I abit forgot how to bake cookies liao. ):
Nvm.

You're my happy pill, darling.

2011-02-12T04:45:00.001+08:00

Hello readers!

Nope, I'm not doing a commercial for NIVEA.
I bought that today and used it because my old one is finish.
I bought the Rose flavour! ^^

I have an awesome boyfriend and I love him!
Nobody will know how much I treasure him.
He's my happy pill. (:

Awesome day out with baby!

Headed off to the West to find him.

Was to meet him at Dover, his school there first.

But I sort of overslept... ):

So, headed off to Jurong East instead.

Was to go Daiso buy a box, then the library there.

But it was raining heavily. ):

So we headed off to JP instead.
Shopped around for my box.
Went to Artbox, the boxes there are nice.
But baby complained got the shoe box smell.
LOL.
So headed off to Precious Thoughts then.
Asked baby to choose a box, and he chose the blue one.
He still smell if there's shoe box smell or not leh!
So cute!

Was abt to pay, when the cashier lady asked me if I want a ribbon to go with it.
After much thinking, I agreed since that box is meant to be a gift and it would not be polite if it looks too plain. (:
Shopped in PT alone since baby went to the washroom.
The total cost of the box plus the ribbon doesn't come cheap! ):
But it's okay! It is meant to be a gift anyway. (((:
Oh ya! Baby chose the box colour, and the ribbon colour himself. <3

Headed off to Frontier library after my box shopping.
Baby was supposed to study okay!
But he forgot to bring this and that. -.-
Then he keep no heart study.!
Went to search for the power socket and he finally found it.
He was so happy can or not!
Packed everything and shifted place.
He was reading his Manga online and ignoring me.! >:(
Grumpygirl_93 liaos.
So I used his iphone and keep complaining by typing.
Hohoho.
He finally stopped. :D
Then he looked at me use his laptop. Hehe.
HE DOWNLOADED GOOGLE CHROME FOR ME TO USE.
HAPPPYGIRL_93 LIAOOOOO!
Next time I can just use google chrome instead of his firefox. Hehehehe.

I was so bored that I suggested webcamming.
It was baby's first time trying lolcam.com okayyy!
He's so excited when he saw the effects available.
So cute la!

Here's some of the photos, the rest are in his album.

Seriously, my boyfriend is beyond cuteness already.

No wonder I like to disturb him.

MUAHAHAH.

Dinner at LJS!

and trained home after that.

Baby's so sweet.

He sent me home all the way from the West to the East even though he's so tired.

He's been yawning the whole day! ):

And then he need to train back home all the way to the West again. ):

I have a great boyfriend.

And I really treasure him alot.

He's the one who bring back that smile on my face.

He's the one who sings to me all the time.

He's the one who worry and call me in the middle of the night when I seems wrong.

He's the one who keep assuring me that everything's gonna be alright.

His silly actions always manage to me me laugh.

I've got a super duper funny plus cute photo of him inside my ITouch that always make me laugh whenever I'm down.

I confirm plus chop will laugh one.

When I show him that photo, he also can't stop laughing. Hehe.

Baby finally asked me to be his Valentine this Monday just now.

Like FINALLY hur!

Hahahaha.

Let me wait so long! GRRR.

Oh ya, I can't wait for baby's school holiday!

Because GuoJie asked him to invite me to Genting with them!

Baby & Me, GuoJie & KaiXin, ShiHao & JingTing.

Howwwwwww excited I am. Hehehe.

Couple dates.

3 couple dates together somemore! (((:

I'm gonna bake cookies on Sunday. Excited too! YAYYY! <:

Okay, two last photo before going off.

My Awesome BabyBoy

Last but not least,

I Love My Boyfriend,

Elvin Teo ♥

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

*Psst* I'm looking forward to Monday, my first Valentine. (:

And oh, FUCK YOU.

ITE, PLEASE FUCKING STOP SENDING LETTER TO ME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Paranoid Psychotic Girlfriend

2011-02-09T05:53:00.000+08:00

Just read Tammy Tay's blog.

And her newest post make me feels like I ain't alone. LOL.

Being a psychotic girlfriend and all.

Comparing ourselves with our boyfriend's ex-es and all.

Then going to their profile and see their newest photos and all.

And then getting crazy just to find something to argue and then having our boyfriend assuring us that everything's okay.

And at first, I thought I was the only one who'll act like this. Joke.

Now I don't feel so alone anymore!

At least there's people out there who're just like me. <:

But oh well, this doesn't feel psychotic to me eh.

Heyyy~ we girls need assurance all the time. Hehe.

And I feel so good after all these shits, boyfriend will still come and assure me.

At least this shows that he cares!

So in reality, which girl won't really go compare themselves with the ex-es hur!

Okay, enough of that.

I'm gonna head to sch later in the morning to do my transferring stuffs,

then either shop for my sneakers later or Friday with baby.

Then at around 5pm, I shall head over to Roy's crib for another steamboat session!

This time, it's with my favourite usuals!

Everytime only Vannie, Diana, Jovy & me, 4 girls.

The rest all guys de! >:

But it's okay!

We click well togetherrrr!

That's why we're usuals! Hehe.

Shall spam photos alr.

Asked Diana to bring her cam.

And I'll be bringing mine too! <<<:

Oh ya, when's the next IT fair?

I need extra hard disk.

If Herman still gonna work for the next IT fair, I'm gonna ask him help me buy! <:

That time I went to find him to help Jovy buy her hard disk, I got discount oh. Hehe.

Okay, I just became a paranoid psychotic girlfriend again?

Baby said he will count mojojos to sleep and I went, there's only one mojojo which is me. Count to max only will have 1 only. If he can count mojojos to sleep, means inside his heart still have other mojojojo"S" la. HAHAH!

Jokeeee.

Okay. Babyboy haven't really ask me out on Valentine day. He sucks la. ):

But he got dropped hint before. Even before CNY started. Hehe.

But too bad, I'm a girlfriend who needs her boyfriend to really ask her directly oh. *wink wink*

Or else my valentine will be my bed. <:

But still, I shall like to assure my boyfriend that I love him in every post of mine. (:

Last but not least,

I love my boyfriend, Elvin Teo. *Mwah*

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

I'm Sorry. But I love my current boyfriend more than you.

2011-02-05T06:20:00.000+08:00

Everytime the same thing happen when the song is being played.
The same memory came back.
The memory which I wanted so much to forget.
Because it hurts.
Whenever the song is being played, I can rmb how he sang it.
His actions and every single thing.
I'm sorry.

Same song, different person.
The first, stay more vividly in my mind.
Although it's only a short period of time spent together.
Afterall, he's the real first love after all those puppy love I had before.
Went Kbox the other time with clique, BFF sang that song, and I cried right in front of my clique.
And he had to stop singing it.
This shows how much impact this song has on me.
But today, boyfriend sang that song without knowing the impact that song has on me,
I stood brave, without tears.
Because that guy has officially became my past.
And boyfriend is my present and future.

I've currently very happy with my current boyfriend.
He's one of the best guy I've ever know, other than my 2 BFFs.
He treats me very good and I'm satisfied with that.
Valentine day is coming.
And he's gonna be my first valentine after my 17 years, 2 mths & 6 days of life. ^^
Now, I'm seriously stuck as I don't know what I want to give him as a valentine day present.
Received so many suggestions from EwF peeps.
And I've decided.
At least, sort of decided. Hehe.
I can't mention it out here because I don't know if he does read my blog or what.
If he did, I wanna say this to him and I will bold and enlarge the words plus red wordings.
"Baby, it's time for you to tag since you're here at my blog. Stop viewing & run, love!"

I shall update bout CNY after I've really celebrating it. (:
Didn't really take any photos.
Most are in my ITouch and I'm so lazy to sync them into the laptop.
And oh, baby's niece, Chloe, is damn cute, I tell you. HAHAH.
I practically love her alr.

I had Mac Breakfast just now!
Okay. Shall officially head to bed alr.
Headache just now in the day and my eyes are in pain.
Because I stupidly and accidently poke the mascara remover stick into my left eye when I'm still in contacts.
KNS. The stick is coated with the oily remover liquid somemore. TSK.

Good Night, readers!
Last but not least, I love my boyfriend.
Elvin Teo

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

Happy Chinese New Year!

2011-02-03T06:30:00.000+08:00

Whoop Whoop Whoop.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Chinese New Year eve was so-so.
Woke up at 5pm+
Bathe, and got ready by 8.30pm+, I think.
Then I head off to granny's house for reunion dinner.
Steamboattt! <:
Parent and sis head off first.
I nua-ed on bed till 6pm+. x:
Didn't take any photos.
Cousin sang and he was so damn good.
He's a great singer anyway. ^^
Eldest cousin suggested going to Chinatown last minute outing as a cousin outing.
But his brothers don't agree with the idea.
Because they said too much people.
They don't want to squeeze here & there. ):
Thus, plan cancelled.
And I rot at home until now lor.

Tuesday
Out with Jolene in the afternoon to do my last minute CNY shopping.
Shopped all of Orchard road? Almost.
We spent over $200. All on clothings. x:
None on food. ):
My pay is gone~
Bought myself a new wedge and wallet at Charles&Keith and it sums up to around $90?
The heels cost me $55.90. But I love it. <:
My new wallet too! It's white! Hehe.

My new wallet!

Nice or notttt!!! I love it manszxc! <3
I fell in love with it the first time I saw it.
So I can't help but to buy it since I'm using my sister's wallet anyway.

Bought falsies & glue.
Bought new bag for CNY & bangles.
Then, hmmmm.
I forgot alr.
But after shopping, we had dinner at superdog.
And I only had pepsi and onion ring & I'm alr full. x:
Appetite getting smaller! Yeppie! ^^
Then, walked back to EwF for CNY gathering.
Helped the girls do their closing.
Then we set the tables to lao yu sheng! <:
Photos will be uploaded again.
Because they're in my cam & I'm too lazy to connect the cable. :/
Camwhored.
Then we got our red packet by Barry.
I got $2 only! ):
But YenCheng lucky oh!
She got $88! Congrats! ^^
Nevermind, we got the $82 grp. LOL.
Because Barry's $ write until like 8.
HAHAHAHA!
Slacked at EwF for a while and then cabbed home with Jovy & Isabel.L.
Homed, phone calls with bby and then I k.o.ed on the sofa instead of my bed. x:

Okay, I think I shall head to bed alr since it's 6.27am.
And I'm heading down to the west to visit grandad and uncle for CNY.
I think I'll look like a zombie? x:
But my makeup will help me look less likely.
At least I hope.. (:
Good Night, everyone! (L)
And lastly, I love my boyfriend. ♥

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

I love my boyfriend

2011-01-30T00:42:00.005+08:00

20 October. And we got together on 20 December. (:

Hello readers! I'm back.
Life's been so good so far. (:
How's yours? (:

I should get my ass off of my house and head to sch and do my transfer.
But I'm so lazy. ):
Zhen mo ban nehhhh? ))):
Roy got into ECH in Bishan ITE. :/
Which means, he'll be my junior if I'm still in that course.
But no, I'm transferring.
And he's gonna transfer with me. Hehe.
Royyyyyy. Hehehe.

I love my boyfriend la. Hehe.

Trained down to Pioneer to find bby and to attend his grandad's wake.
Bby texted me on Sunday night telling me his upset and I couldn't reply him because I was working.
Then I called him up when I told my manager that I needed the washroom.
And that's when I heard of the news.
Then I went back up to work.
And guess what?
I'm in no mood.
And tears swell up in my eyes.
Because it reminded me of my late granny. )':
And I blamed myself for working that Sunday night.
If I'm not working, I will rush down to Pioneer to find bby...

Okay, back to Monday.
Trained down to find bby at around 8pm+.
There alot of people at the wake, so I went up to bby's house first.
He went to bathe and I checked out his room. x:
And I saw this, "toe Iz yang Elvin"
He wrote that when he's young. Cute ryite? Hehehe.

Stayed at his house, watched Megamind together, webcammed, disturbing each other.
And went down to grandad's wake when WeiHua's ready.
He waited for us downstairs for 30 mins. Hehehe. :P
I was introduced to his cousins first because his cousin went, "Eh, you don't need to intro your girlfriend to us meh?"
LOL. so, yeah. Hehe.
Oh ya, bby's bro don't seem that fierce to me anymore. HEHEHE. ♥
After that, Mark, WeiHua & Bby sent me home using bby's mum car.
And then bby sent me up and home he went.

Wednesday
Headed to bby's sch, Singapore Poly on the 26 to have lunch with him.
See. I'm so good!
Then bby sent me home! ^^

Friday
Work on with Jolene BeiBei! <3
It's her first day ohhh! ^^
The crowd was okay.
Like non-stop de!
But overall, work's alright! (:

Saturday.
Jovy took over my shift! THANKSSSS! :D
She was sick. ):
Slept all the way till around 5pm.
Then was awoken by GuoJie's call.
Asking me where's bby and then ask me meet him & co at Cine like, NOW?
Tsk.
I just woke up! ):
But oh well, heheh.
I got up, went to prepare while dad opened the door for bby.
Then bby waited for me while I bathe, make up and everything. x:
Oopsieee.
After I dried my hair, bby thought I okay alr, he carried bag, stood up then I looked at him, I smiled, took my makeup bag, and said, "Bi, I want make-up."
He gave me that super cute smile, sat down and said "Aiyo. Don't need makeup la. You want then I wait for you lor"
So sweet ryiteeeee? Hehehe. ♥

Trained to Somerset and head to Cine find GuoJie & co.
He and WeiHua ah, keep calling my phone instead of bby's. -.-
Suppose to shop for my CNY stuffs, but in the end, decided not to.
Because it's so weird shopping for my stuffs with 6 guys neh.
SIX GUYS INCLUDING BBY.
Where got 6 guys accompany a girl go shop for things de. x:
Damn weird.
GuoJie still asked me where I want to shop sial.
They accompany me. x:
Such a big shot eh, me.
HAHAH!

(':

I had cravings for Pontian for 2 days alr.
And bby agreed to accompany me eat that day. Mwah! ♥
WeiHua keep saying eating Pontian won't even fill the hunger of his balls. KNS.
And I was in the end persuaded to eat at Koufu. ):
Who knows, GuoJie walked behind, and saw empty seats and told us. Hehehe.
WeiHua, "Walau. Why you say! She was persuaded to go Koufu leh!" Hehehe.
So bby put his hands on my shoulder and said to Weihua, "I want to eat Pontian Wonton Mee. Y'all go eat at Koufu ba" Hehehe. Happygirl_93 okayyy!
Then he walked in with a friend. I forgot who alr.
I turned to WeiHua, flashed him a cheeky smile and said, "YAY! Sorry hor, shifu. Hehehe."
Then I skipped into graffiti cafe and hold bby's arm. ^^
And WeiHua from behind said, "Wa, WanZhen, you like small girl eh."
I turned around and smiled at him. (:
No matter how unwillingly they are, they still accompany me eat oh! ^^
Thanks ah, WeiHua, GuoJie, Desmond, Joel, XiDe and lastly, my Elvin♥! ^^

Then Joel left for Azzura, we walked over to FarEast. ^^
Bby so sweet kay!
He sheltered me from the rain with his bag. ♥
And I threw my electronic devices into his bag cuz water will sip through my bag.
Slacked over there for around 2 hours?
Then GuoJie & bby sent me home.
We took bus! <:
Which means longer time spent with bby. (:
GuoJie suggested prawning at Bishan.
But that plan was cancelled.

So, bby sent me home, used my house toilet and my sister tell me, "Eh jiejie, Elvin everytime come to our house for toilet only ah? "
JOKEEE. I should tell bby that. LOL.

That sum up my whole week and I love my boyfriend. ♥

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

^^

2011-01-21T20:51:00.000+08:00

I don't need a reason to make you stay.
If you wanna leave, you can just leave.
I'm so sorry that I brought you to club.
My fault.
You ain't the first person I brought to club.
If I got you addicted to clubbing, it's your own problem.
You just haven't seen the worst of clubs yet.
I haven't too.

I'm gonna be 18 this yearrrrrrr!
Shall head to club soon.
NO MORE UNDERAGE PARTAYEEEEEE.
YEAPPIEEE!
Jolene, me and a few more others will be heading down to Powerhouse soon.
And I can get guestlist for ladies night from Ken.
How great is that?! :D
And my lovely boyfriend allow me to club just like I allow him. ^^
This shows the trust we have in each other. :Dv
Love youuuu! <3
Looks like clubbers being a couple ain't difficult.
We just need to have the trust.
&&& we are not hardcore clubbers. (Y)

Happy One Monthsary! ♥

2011-01-21T06:11:00.002+08:00

My boyfriend, Elvin Teo ♥

This handsome boy up there is my boyfriend, Elvin Teo. ♥
He belongs to me. Hehehehe.
Happy First Month anniversary, my dear!
Love you many many!

Went out after his school end which was at 5.
Was to meet at 6pm initially.
But I nua on bed until I forgot the time and met him at 7 plus. Hahaha.
Finally he waited for me okay!
Everytime is I wait for him one!

Sakae buffet for dinner!
He promised to treat me salmon sashimi.
LOL.
Ate until so full.
We almost couldn't walk.
HAHAHAHA.

He's such a sweet little thing. <3
He helped me to take out avocado from my california maki when he knows I don't eat them and then fed me.
Knowing I'm super duper full, he ate 3 of my california maki and leave one for me despite being super duper full like me. Hehehe.
So now, I've got a super duper fat boyfriend with alot of fats to keep me warm. ♥

Sigh, time always pass so fast when I've with him.
If only time can pass by much slower. ):

On 11:11pm of 20 January 2011, my dear boyfriend texted me, "It's 11:11 of our 1st monthsary, wo aiaiaiaiaiaiai ni~ "
Awwww. So sweet ryite? ♥
Sorry for the blur image!

Walked to Dhouby Ghaut aftermath.
Sort of rested at Istana park.
Then cross the road to see some Hindu festivals going on.
Oh well, it's my curiosity and damn. I regretted moving.
Because it smells of Hindis. :/
But at least I prefer Indians more than Bangalas!
Because they're more refine. (:
But there's just some I hate, because they acted like hooligans! >:(

Then he sent me home.
I feel so safe in his hug.
Baby, I love you. ♥

Never did I think, he's so important in my life.
His stupid looking face through webcam, giving me that cheeky smile seriously make me wanna laugh out loud at him.
Never did I thought, he'll be the one to make me smile, cheering me up all the time.
I'm glad I didn't give him up.
I'm glad I accepted him.
And I'm glad he's my boyfriend.

Girls out there, Never touch him! OKAY?
Anyway, you want touch, touch loh.
If he's fated to be mine, he will never leave in the first place. ♥

*On a side note, don't you think the hello kitty I made is so cuteeeee? (: *

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

2011-01-17T06:01:00.002+08:00

I wanna be a sad girl.
But I cannot. Because boyfriend kept making me smile and I like it. ^^
Stupid baby was late the day before!
Said meet me at 6pm at Somerset 313 to pay back that he last minute got Chingay Rehearsal on friday. KNS.
That made me angry okayyyyy! But, oh well. At least he came to meet me on Sat after I end work. Love you!
He reached at freaking 7+pm! KNSSSSSSSS! >:(
And I didn't even sleep the day beforeeeeee!

2011-01-15T07:23:00.000+08:00

YAY!

Imma big fat liar.

HATE ME!

Oh, life sucks.

FML.

I know I should be thinking...

But I can't help it.

It's so... automatic.

And I'm right here, suffering.

Struggling with the truth that will NEVER change.

Oh, how much tears have I spend on this stupid thinking?

2011-01-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

Okay. I've decided.
I'm gonna ignore all the past.
I shall stand strong.
Noel told me something today during work.
And hey, I was like, he's right.
Why should I give a damn?

Yeo WanZhen is gonna stand strong.

And just something I want to say to Elvin.
Bi, sorry for causing you so much troubles.
I've been thinking too much.
From today onwards, I will not think anymore.
Thanks for being there for me, assuring me and everything.
Lastly, I Love You.
Don't doubt my love for you and I shall never doubt your love for me ever again. (':

Damn

2011-01-13T02:14:00.002+08:00

Everytime I get into a relationship, I am serious.
I'm not a girl who will play a guy's feeling. Believe it or not, it's up to you, people.
And maybe, because I get too serious for every relationship I'm in, I tend to think alot.
Especially if I happen to know, your ex.
Your ex 's in my facebook & everything.
And what's worst?
I KNOW YOU WHEN YOU'RE STILL WITH YOUR EX.

This feeling sucks.
I dunno why, it's so automatic that I will scan through the friendship page.
And then I saw those sweet talks that's meant for her in the past.
Those good morning text and good night text that's meant for her in the past.
Those words you're calling me now, meant to be calling her in the past.
The hand I'm holding now, is what she used to hold.
Oh hell. That feeling sucks max.

How you used to came to me when you have problem with her.
Who will you go to if we ever have a problem?
Will that "she" exists?
God. Why am I even jealous of this "SHE" when she haven't even exist?

It's just so weird why exes often delete each other off facebook.
Will you delete me too? If something ever happens?
You regretted being with her. Will you ever regret you being with me too?

That day, as you were not noticing, I scrolled through your contacts.
Then, I saw her name, and poof.
I think alot again.

Although she ain't in your facebook alr,
I don't know why, but I still feel the insecurity.

I don't know when I like you.
I don't know when I fell in love with you.
I just do.
I can live without you, but I chose not to.

The other day, I don't know what happen to me,
I suddenly brought her up.
I bomb you with dunno how many questions bout her.
And me?
I was crying on the bus back home.
I hate this feeling.
I called up one of your friend in case you don't know.
And he assured me.
Ask me to relax and cool down.
I don't know why I cried when I called him up.
Asking him, questioning him about you. :/

Well typing all these, I secretly hope you wouldn't be reading.
Because you still thinks that my blog is set private when it's been set public for so long.

Just as I am typing all these,

you asked me what I'm doing.

My reply?

Thinking.

You asked, what I am thinking.

My reply?

Something.

Why?

I can never let you know that I'm thinking of all these.

I don't know why,

but my tears are just flowing down like tap water...

I love you,

but I don't know why,

I can't stop thinking bout all these...

( On a side note, Irwin is being an asshole in twitter. -.- )

2010

2011-01-11T15:02:00.000+08:00

Love this little chap up there.

Totally make my day brighter. Mwah!

1.38am. It's 11January alr.
Time passes so fast.
And 20 January is coming.
It's gonna be our first month soon, my dear.
<3

Great month.
Great countdown.
Looking forward to this year actually cuz year 2010 has been a really bad year.
Come on, 2011, I will love you alot.
Let me have a good year ahead okay? (:
xoxo

Sick in the first month.
Suspected bby for passing it to me. MUAHAHAHAHA.
I've passed this sickness to alot ppl alr. Time to self quarratine? DAMNYOU.

School has started. But no, I ain't attending school.

Private will be for me.

Bye, ITE.

Work was fine so far...

Enjoy these videos below!

Film during work.

Main casts ; Kayexe , NoelRyuji , BelovedAlene

ENJOY!

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

2011-01-10T02:10:00.003+08:00

Unprivate my blog cuz bby kept pestering me why I keep my blog private. Cause him to unable to stalk me. SI STALKER. !

Had a great day and night at EwF chalet. I'm so sad Kayexe didn't attend due to illness. ):
But nvm, the rest of the old part timers came!
Isabel Goh, Isabel Low, Cheryl, Meiee, Zenna, Jovy and so on.
Stayed there for the first night and laughters were everywhere.
Barry & Wilson better be honoured! Surrounded by EwF girls eh! HAHAH.
Photos with Cheryl. Let's wait till she uploads them.

Forever is nth but a lie.
Cuz forever never reach.
Love is nth, but a risk taking thing to do.

Had been thinking alot the past few days.
PMS much?
I felt like a spare and I don't know why.
Cried in public bus back home when I was on the phone with a guy friend to share my prob.

I'm still afraid of being in a relationship although I'm in one now.
Stupid me.
There's still a "wall" that I'm using to protect myself against.
I'm afraid of getting hurt again, I guess.
And then, bby came back from genting with a couple watch.
Which makes me think much more.
Do I deserve that watch?

2010-12-28T02:39:00.065+08:00

Awesome Christmas I have this year.

20 December, Elvin & I officially become a couple. ♥

Celebrated Christmas by going to Bar X with Bby and co.
Bby came to eat with his friends at EwF.
Then they went off to Cine.
After work, Bby came to fetch me and off to Cine to find his friends.
DAMN awkward, I tell you.
Although i do know some of them. :/
Looked at the fun the others are playing by spraying fake snow all over one another.
And GJ kept using dunno who's DSLR, wanted to take our photos.
I DAMN SHY FOR GOODNESS SAKE. -.-
At 12 sharp, Bby was beside me, I turn to him and said, "Merry Christmas" .
LOL.

Then Bby pulled me to sit with his friends.
I was quiet throughout because I hardly know any of his friends.
After they got bored of slacking at Cine, we trained to Boat Quay.
I almost got into a car accident cuz Bby didn't pull me and I didn't watch out for cars when crossing the road and a car was speeding by.
And Shanice pulled me instead and she said to Bby, "OI, you never take care of your girf ah! She almost car accident leh!!!" when we reached the other end of the road. x:
Search for Bar X.
They went drinking and what a good girl I am, I didn't drink. YAY!
Bby didn't drink too! ^^

Kept going to McDonald because there's rumor bout a police raid going on and I'm 17 ONLY.
No choice. Tsk.
If only I'm 18. Then Bby won't be troubled.
Had nuggets as my lunch, dinner and supper that day. Haha.
Poor Bby, kept coughing. He's still not feeling well that day. ):
Train home in the morning.
Bby was feeling so tired, but yet, he still fetch me home that day.

Reached home, slept, and woke up at around 4/5pm+
Prepared and went out. Was gonna meet Bby at Douby Ghuat for a movie.
Went to Cathay and Gulliver's Travel was so awesome.
Nice movie!
Happened to bump into MehNehNeh there!
Such a long time since I last met her! <3!

After movie, trained down to BoonLay, GJ's house for steamboat.
I was damn shy la. Grrrrr.
Bby was the one who kept giving me food to eat. HAHAH.
Well, can't forget Shanice too. She scooped me food when she saw that my plate is empty. <:

Then, cabbed to Bby's house.
Cuz ShiHao gonna drive me home using Bby's mum car.
Met Bby's bro downstairs and he looked so fierce! I don't like! >:
He stared at me for awhile then turn to Bby.
I only smiled and nod my head in a form of politeness. x:
ShiHao was like speeding all the way and I was like, falling here and there in the car. x:
Then Bby held on to me and I squeezed his hands like until so tightly? Oopsie.
But oh well, IT IS FUN SITTING IN A SPEEDING CAR! Hehe.

Fun day.
Awesome day.
With that special someone included. <:

17 December 2010 ♥

2010-12-18T02:41:00.018+08:00

Suppose to work today.. but, WeiHua's chalet clashes. :/
He should have told me earlier can! GRRR~
But nvm. Thanks YenCheng for taking over my shift! <:

Gave school a miss today because I jitao overslept. :/
School ended alr, then I woke up. -.-
Nvm.
Nua-ed at home till 5pm+.
Prepared and out to inter to buy Lemon Honey Drink for ♥Elvin.
He's sick! ):
But yet, he went to WeiHua's chalet.
WeiHua, you better be honored okayyy!
Then trained over to Simei to wait for dear Xenia.
Waited for around..15-20 minutes?
Trained over to Pasir Ris and bus to downtown.

Search for Block dunno what and can't find.
In the end, is our dear Xenia heard the block number wronggg~
LOL.
Elvin and a few other ppl came out to fetch us in. (:
Pass Elvin his drink and went to sat down alr.
Then Elvin went out with a couple of them to buy drinks and he came back with a packet of sushi for me! YAY!
SALMON!
GuoJie kept asking to eat, but I kept glaring back. Heheh.
Then finally I gave him the crab one.
Then I think Elvin appeared behind me or something from the look of GJ's face. And guess what? I was right. LOL
Elvin stared at GJ while making his way down the stairs. HAHAH.

Then went to the chalet next to the one I'm at then he shouted, "how dare you eat my sushi!"
LOLOLOL!
And all the other friends were like, "GJ, how can you steal Elvin's wife's sushi uh!"
I was speechless and Xenia kept laughing. -.-"
I simply love that day, I tell you. HAHAH.

2010-12-11T22:48:00.000+08:00

Maybe, I don't deserve your love.
Sometimes, I've been too selfish about showing my love for you.
Yeah, I love you.
But, I don't really show it.
I don't know how to anymore. :/

Maybe I should give you up?
But, on a second thought, you're a really great guy.
Should I give you up, and let the next girl have you? :////
I'm not worth your love.
I'm retarded.
I'm fat.
I'm ugly.
I sucks.
I have really low self esteem.
I need someone by my side who I can depend on.
I.. nvm.
:/
You're always there when I need you.
You're always there when I need a listening ear.
You're always there through my thick and thin.
Perhaps, maybe, I should not give you up. (':

Guys will NEVER know or understand girls

2010-12-06T03:22:00.000+08:00

Nah. Guys will NEVER know or understand girls.
Just say I'm.. oh whatever. I can't be bothered to type it out here. Had an argument with GJ just now.
Hey, come on. It's between me & Elvin.
It's not I don't want to accept.
Yes, I like him.
Yes, I do.
But you gotta understand, friendship and relationship is different.
TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
I treasure his & my friendship ALOT.
More than what you think it is.
It's so fucking difficult to be friends again if we got together and then break.
You know?
You understand?
Yeah, I know I should give myself and him a chance.
But, no, you dunno me.
You don't know me that well.
You will never know what I've been through.
The pain. The hurt. The sadness. The happiness. The everything.
All the bitterness, sweetness that happened in my life.
Girls are more sensitive than guys okay!

And after all the things that happened to me in the past, made me don't trust anyone.
Especially guys.
How will you able to ask me trust ppl when I can't and don't trust myself in the fucking first place?!

I don't like facing up to things.
Call me a tortoise or whatever shit. I don't give a damn anymore.

Right now, Close friends, I need you. Where are all of you? ):

I feel like crying now. Like seriously.

Shall MIA from the whole bunch of them alr. ByeBye.
Privated this blog for the time being.
Cuz I don't want anyone to view right now.

Nothin' On You, Baby

2010-11-30T01:33:00.000+08:00

All the time, I remind myself, no ones stay the same.
Nothing stay the same.

Anw, one sentence, I'm all by myself all the time.
Nvm.
Used to hypocrites, I suppose.
They make me stronger only.

Life's bored.
Been texting everyday with El.
There's a good morning text and a good night text from him every single day and I kinda got used to it. x:
Work has been sucky ever since the new system start, and I hate being the runner.
Especially serving the weekend gang~

Well, like I said, nothing stay the same anyway.
GJ keep asking me to accept El.
And I kept asking him why.
He gave me all sorts of reason.
HAHA.
El is a good guy.
Way better than me and I think he deserves someone better.
He's way too innocent than me.
At least that's what I think about him.
He's shy and everything, which I like to disturb him about.
The feeling is there, I admit.
But still, I'm afraid.

And these have been going through my mind all these while:

Maybe just another go?
Will he make the same mistake my ex did?
Will he make me cry like how my ex did?
Will he make me feel secure?
Will he be able to be there for me when I need him?
Will he protect me from everything?
Will he make me feel the love I've lost?

Will he?
I don't know.
I've got no courage.
Within these 5 months, I've turned down 3 guys.
Reason?
I don't have the courage to step into another relationship.
I hate the feeling of losing someone important to me.
But yet, I don't know why, I like the feeling when people we know disturb me about you.
I smiled.
And I felt warm.
Okay, I'm weird.
But, that's exactly how I feel.

Loads of newcomers at EwF recently.
I feel unimportant and am not enjoying work as much as before alr.
I felt being taken over.
And there's this newcomer who gave me a feeling like she likes sucking up to people.
And boss people around, thinking they're newcomers.
WOW?
I hate being boss around anw.
So I'll just give her a stare if this happens. (:

My friends are leaving one by one.

I think?

Or have I been too quiet about everything?

The closeness which used to be there.

The secrets we used to share.

It's not th same anymore.

We ain't close like we used to be.

No more secrets among us.

You chose to keep me out of it.

Nvm, I won't probe anyway.

Friendship that ends, means that we're never friends before.

It's a friendship that has never start before.

I've been missing too many clubbing events.

And I miss my clubbing life.

Do I even look like a clubber in the first place? :/

Nah, I don't think I am in any way.

I miss drinking.

I miss getting drunk.

The feeling is awesome much.

Getting high without any troubles on my mind.

With friends by my side.

Well, I love my nocturnal life to be precise.

Much more than my day time life?

Yeaps.

It's time to club, girl.

It's time.

WanZhen, stop chiong-ing work.

start going back to your clubbing life.

You find life there.

You find happiness there.

You find fun there.

Stop lying.

Well, I might turn chiongster one I turn legal 18 though.

Wait for me.

NO MORE UNDERAGE EVENT.

They're so lame!

You see familiar faces everywhere you go.

Even on the dance floor when it's so crowded somemore. -.-

More thrill going for legal age ones, I think?

I miss Zouk the other night.

And I'm so sad.

But at least he's happy that I didn't went Zouk! (:

I'll try Zouk sometime.

ButFact, PH again, Movida, SOHO again, Zirca, Rebel, Supper & many many many more.

I miss going to my virgin club, Zirca.

I miss it man.

That's where I met JiaYang & co and one of his friend actually saved me from this bastard by dancing with me.

see, such good friends.

Even when I attend other events, I confirm will bump into them on the dance floor.

In any way,

I do club.

Yes I do.

And trust me, I will turn hardcore once I turn legal 18.

In any case, I like the way you show me your concern.

I like the way you ask me to be careful on my way out/home.

I like the way you text me in the morning or night.

I like the way you're always there for me when I need a listening ear.

I like the way you say you'll fetch me to & fro school if you have your car licence.

I like the way you ask me to take very good care of myself.

i like the way you say I'm beautiful just the way I am.

I like the way you ask me bout my whereabout to make sure I'm safe.

I like the way you manage to make me smile with everything.

I like the way your name appear on my phone.

Well, I can't deny anymore.

I'm moved.

I like you. (:

xoxo ;

Velyn ♥

2010-11-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

Reminiscing my blurry childhood
Clouds float through beautiful sky
The time you said "I want to hold your hand;Taking you with me to end of time"

♥
Im scared to look up the sky
My world lost its colors
Forgotten to breathe,life after
Tears no longer here,its in my eyes
♥
Love We Had,Gone And Wont Be Back

♥
Im still Silently Waiting Now
♥
Our Love I Realized
♥
Is A Burden For You
Hard To Let Go
The Last Warmth

I'm sorry.

2010-11-12T01:43:00.003+08:00

-'-

FML is what I can say now? Damn. My life just sucks la.
What's more could I ask for?

Considered quiting school after the talk Miss D gave this morning.
I can't handle everything.
I can't go on like this.
I...I... nvm. Nobody will even understand..

Everyday, I step out of my house, with a pretend smile.
With a pretend laugh.
Oh, how much I've practiced them in front of the mirror so many times so that ppl can't see through me.
I gave loads of schedule to EwF, because?
I find my happiness there with the babes.
Not my school or my family.
Not once.

I feel like I've drifted from ALOT of people.
But yet, I'm even closer to some.
Jovy, Roy, ZiJie & Elvin.
I've been even closer to these 4 people.
The rest, I've got nth to say..
I don't find any topic that we can actually talked about anymore.
All the random shits we did in the past together..
All the secrets & jokes.
The fun we once had.
Is getting lesser and lesser.

I treasure our friendships.
I do.
But, I feel that I don't fit in.
Not at all.

2010-11-04T00:30:00.000+08:00

Will update about my birthday after Jovy & Isabel posted the photos on Facebook. (:
As for now...,

EwF girls rocks!!! <3

Too bad, it's your loss to let go of such a good guy like him...

2010-11-02T10:54:00.000+08:00

He is a really great guy.
He released me once.
And he's yours.
But you've let him go.
Your loss.
If only you know how to cherish him...

I hope he's feeling better..
As a friend, I will be there for him,
like how he was, for me.
Thankyou.

Lunar Birthday celebration

2010-10-28T02:49:00.000+08:00

HEHE.
I'm quite happy today @ work. (:
Thanks Elvin for texting me early in the morning to wish me Happy Lunar Birthday. HAHAH!
Then JunYan ytd night.
Jovy when I'm @ work.
And Isabel too.
Then iJie wished me after 12. But it's still a thought though. (':

Had a small mini celebration among Isabel, Loon, Yanyi & me myself at EwF. LOL.
Isabel bought me nutella slice as a cake. (':

Hehe.

Love EwF girls la! <3

Joke all the way too!

Too much fun to describe alr. Shall have them deep down & etch in my memory FOREVER. <333

EwF girls, I love you guys loads. Really alot.

2010-10-26T01:29:00.002+08:00

EwF is a really fun place to work in! <:

Met many great friends.

Isabel.Low!!!

Emily, Joy, Swee, Loon, Jovy, Isabel & me.

Had loads of fun working there.

Seriously.

I think, that's my current best job so far.

Going there actually light up my life. (':

Bring smile to my face.

With the girls over there.

The fun times we had.

The stories we shared.

Including personnel & relationship life. (Y)

I don't know why we can be that close even though we knew one another like, for few weeks only?

Seriously, I look forward putting my schedule for work @ EwF.

Looking forward to every job schedule I've given.

I don't even mind rushing down to work.

I don't even mind working full there with those girls around.

Thanks for appearing in my life.And thank you, Jovy.

For introducing me this job. (':

I'm really happy working there.

Life's still as emo as ever, and I seriously have no mood to celebrate my birthday that's coming right up?
Next wed to be exact. :/
I seriously wonder who will celebrate with me.
What I want, is just a group of really close friends, celebrating together.
I'm surprised I didn't asked for a chalet this year.
Maybe, a lonely birthday, will be for me this year?
Just to think through what had happened in my life in year 2010.
I hate 2010? Yeah.
Life has nvr been great.

If only I can get a surprised on my birthday...
27Oct, my lunar birthday.
Parents gonna cook for me and I might be going back to EwF since Isabel.L said Pedy is off.
Going back to EwF just bring back the smile on my face.

I guess I know why I dread my birthday.
May/June, I've put in too much hope.
About finally having someone important to celebrate with me.
And then this hope crashed on 15 June.
And no one has ever been able to give me back this hope.
Nvm. This year, it's only a 17th birthday.
Next year, my 18th birthday. I will wait.

Well, I've learnt my lesson?
Nvr put in too much hope in any relationship.
You can give your soul and love to that one guy.
But not your heart. Because it's so fragile that it might break anytime.

Elvin was at Cine @ that time when I was @ cine too!
AND HE NVR COME FIND ME! WALAU.
I angry.
HAHAH.
Had a great night out @ town with Jovy after work on Saturday.
Then Plaza Singapura Starbucks for Cheesecake & double chocolate.
YumYum! <:

Hmm. I guess I shall hit the sack alr?
Jovy is rushing me to sleep alr cuz I've been putting her aeroplane in the morning for not able to wake up in time for breakfast since last week. Heheh.

And that Wong ZiJie haven't give me a reply why he don't allow me to hate him yet. GRRR.
Quickly. You slowpoke!
& ohohoh. Edison texted me ytd night all of a sudden.
& I got a shock of my life for a sudden too! LOLOLOLOL.
Shall get ready my soap and everything so I can bathe in school later.
Packing Angie's towel in too!
I feel so bad for keeping her towel with me for so long! x:
SORRY! ):

xoxo ;
Velyn ♥

Maybe I just don't fit in.

In everything.

I'm sorry that I'm like this.

I'm sorry that you hate me.

I'm sorry that I can't please you.

But whatever it is, I'm sorry that you can't accept me for who I am.

And wants to keep on criticizing me.

You're brightening up my life, my day.

You're enlightening me.

Thankyou. (:

2010-10-21T02:09:00.000+08:00

I hate it when everything came crashing down at the same time when nothing is alright.
I seriously hate it.
I hate everything around me.
Every single thing.
I ain't enjoying life right now.
Shag max.

If only life could be simpler.
If only. If only. If only.

I feel like crying.
But there's no tears.

Elvin is my trouble bin again.
I'm so sorry. ):

Bought a new liner again. YES. AGAIN. :/
SHAG LA.
SERIOUSLY.
I HATE MYSELF

BYEBYE.

2010-10-18T02:09:00.000+08:00

I would like to go children home to celebrate my birthday.
And, VANNIE, ROY, DIANA, JOVY & THE REST, YOU ARE BOOKED BY ME OKAY! <:
They guys can dance for them.

I hate fucked up customer. -'-

2010-10-17T23:56:00.001+08:00

Hello!
I'm here to blog on my phone cuz I'm currently in a pack single deck bus 7 and I hate it ttm.

Work was okay just now, until a very fucked up customer turned up, and scolded me for nth and made a scene at EwF.

i ask you la, how to pack sprite float?!
hAVE ICE CREAM EH. How the fuck will you be able to put on the cap?! Stupid.
then kitchen burger do slow also my fault. WTF!

Abi pack fries anyhow, also scold me. Might as well scold her ryite! Your fries also not I pack one. Asshole. Say what I ignore you when you're talking to me, HELLO!!!! You didn't even talk to me. -'-

I serve customers, take new orders wrong? You blind? Didn't see long queue?! Pajiao. You totally spoil my mood for th whole day, fucker.

But being a professional, i'm glad I didn't argued back. Be honoured. I rarely not argue back. If I ain't working, you gonna get it from me. Like seriously.

2 kids were with you somemore. What a bad example you've showed your kids. You spoiled the 'great' father impression. ASSHOLE. Please don't spoil the kids' brain la. You no brain jiu hao le. Kids are innocent. -'-

Had fun with Isabel afteramath during closing. (:
Joke all the way.
And Jovy, we washed more trays than you. Hahahahaha!

No promises.

2010-10-17T03:02:00.000+08:00

FatAss bought me a ring with a "W". (:

Had work ytd. Like tireddddddd onleh.
But it's okay! <:
For my trip, I CAN PERSEVERE!
Money will be saved. :D

MeiYee is like one cute girl. HAHAH.
So is Zenna and the rest.
EXCLUDE JOVY LEE.
SHE VIOLENT ONE. :p

Did closing, played around.
The istudio guys help us throw rubbish again! ^^

MeshMesh told me a secret. Hehe.
& OHOHOH. I GOT FREE FISH BURGER & TANDOORI BURGER TODAY. (Y)
Like power.
MeshMesh made it for me and lied to Pedy that it's dead burger. YAY!
Worked with Isabel.G, Jovy, Cheryl & CLARA finally.
LOL.
Know what?
I MISS KAIXIN! ):
PANG KAIXIN! NI ZAI NA LI? ):

Hmmm... forget what I wannt blog alr.
Like serious.
Shag max for the past few days.
And emo for weeks ALREADY. ):

Alamak. I dunno why la. Don't ask why. ://///

I don't want to let go, I just need you to know.

I don't wanna run away, baby, you're the one that I need tonight~

No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just want to die in your arms~

Here tonight...

Shaggggggggg~~~~~
Okay. I shall study for a little, before I hit the sack. TADAS!
And oh, because of my emo-ness, I'm getting real random nowadays.
You can just jolly ignore me.

Only true friends stay.
Mess your life up, the ones who stayed, trust them.
The ones who left and came back, NEVER trust them AGAIN.

Sometimes, you just need to mess up your life real bad, to see who are the ones who will stay.

xoxo ;
Velyn ♥

Thank You

2010-10-12T04:44:00.001+08:00

For the first time, my phone ain't by my side when I'm typing all these.

Can't fall asleep. Have been thinking for too much. Elvin, I'm really thankful to you, for being there for me. Tolerating all my rubbish, behind the screen cries, tolerating my princess attitude & everything. Thank you for being there no matter what. Pm-ing me every night asking if I'm alright. Thank you for your listening ears. (':
I appreciate. (':

I would never be able to live through the last few nights, if not for Elvin. Being emotionally unstable all of a sudden, I showed him attitude. I'm sorry. He was there, all night long. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. On msn. Asking me how I was...

First day of school today, Early morning, I received a text from him asking me to smile.
That text brighten up my day for today. But sorry, I wasn't able to smile. I was quiet for the whole of today.

Sorry to dump you with tons of shits that happened in my family, my life and everything. All my failed relationships. My parents, my sister, money and everything.

Thank you for stepping into my life, when I need a listening ear.
I will never ignore you for you have been there for me, through my hardest time.
I'm recovering, I think.

Your words, enlighten me. I will not be emo again. I shall not. It's my life. I can choose what I want, so why do I allow emo to control my life. Am I right? (:
So yeaps, because of what you told me, I've decided. I will not be this emotionally unstable. I will change. I will be the strong girl you want me to be. I will learn to smile genuinely. I will show you what real smile is about. Nothing will be able to pull me down again.
I promise you. (:

I like my nocturnal friends. They're always the ones who managed to make me smile, make me laugh & everything. I feel accepted by them.
I ain't happy that I won't be able to meet them tmr as I ain't going clubbing.
DuiBuQi!
Although I'm tempted. Damn tempted. But school's next day. Mummy don't allow. Plus I need to save for my Tioman trip with peeps. ♥

GuoJie, WeiHua, Elvin, Xenia, Kenneth, Roy, Vannie, Diana, Jovy, Irwin.
If not for you guys, I would have already given up everything.

I will smile.
I believe I can. (:

I've got a scratch on my hand and I just realized it. -.-
I missed the times where I have to rush for work.
I feel so weird without having to rush for work today, and for the next few days. x:
Should have given them more schedule instead man! ):

&oh, I can't wait for chalet. (:

2010-10-09T15:23:00.002+08:00

My fault.

My bad.

Bye.

Tears, make up this stupid fake smile I'm having all the time.

2010-10-08T11:48:00.000+08:00

Mommy doesn't understand why I like staying out late.
Daddy doesn't understand why I like to put makeups.
They don't understand why my eyeliner is always thick.
They don't understand why I like to club.

And they never will understand.
The makeups, is to cover the red swollen eyes, caused by nights of crying silently.
Staying out late, is so that they will never be able to see me cry.
At least if I cry in the night, the dark befall me.
Only shades of the moon, shine on me.
And I can lie my way through that i ain't crying.

They will never understand why I club.
I club, because I hate loneliness.
I drown myself in these clubbers, the noise the dance and everything...
And one day, I guess I shall get drunk.

Being the only one awake at night.
And sometimes, alone at home...
It's not I don't want to sleep.
I can't fall asleep, mum.
You blamed it on my sleeping hours and timing...
No. Mom, you're wrong.
There's nth wrong with my sleeping hours.
It's just that, I'm afraid, if I fall asleep one day,
I will not be able to wake up anymore..
I may give myself up in my sleep, faint, and leave this world.
All the time, I dreamt of myself falling over a cliff.
That's why I'm afraid.
I'm afraid to sleep, mom.
Sometimes, I even prefer not to sleep...
I can't leave you yet, this family needs me at the moment.
You're the sole breadwinner of the family, mum.
I'm working outside now, I'm earning.
I can give you money too.
We won't be able to survive on this amount too.

No, you'll never understand me, dad & mom.
Never.
I'm a complicated human being.
I defend myself from dangers.
Sometimes, I just hate arguing with y'all.
But, you will never put yourself in my shoe and think.
NEVER.
You always thought you're right, I'm wrong.
This is alr th 20th century, dear mom & dad.
Everything is different.
At this moment, how I really wish the world would end in 2012.
But I really wonder, can I really live through these 2 years?
Maybe not.

Everything isn't going well...
With this little sum of pay I'm having, you expect me to pay for my school fees, provide for dad & sis and myself.
How is that even possible?
And you even ask me for money sometimes..

You will never get to see the real me, mom & dad.
I'm sorry...

I've had enough of everything.
Seriously.

If not for my friends, I won't live.
They came to me, when they need a listening ear, when they're having troubles.
But, where's my listening ear when I really really need one?
Where's my shoulder. when I want to lean on and cry?
Where's the hug to hold me, when I'm about to fall?

I feel that I'm drifting away from everyone...
I'm sorry..
It's not that I want to be like this, it's not that I allow myself to be like this...
It's, nvm. I don't know too.

I'm sick and tired of everything.
I'm envious of people who have happy families.
I'm envious of people who have real smiles.
I'm envious of people who have friends who stood by their side.

Where's mine?

A mask.
Is what I'm wearing everyday.
I practice smiling everyday.
Comparing and see which look more like a real smile.
Well, I don't know, cuz I never had a real smile before? :/
Behind this smile, there's tons of tears.
Behind this mask, is a girl with sorrow.
Behind this strong front, is a girl who is very weak, condemning herself that she's useless, she's not important...
Even until noe..

Sorry for this emo post.
)':

Please don't hurt my friend anymore...

2010-10-03T06:41:00.000+08:00

Maybe, perhaps you'll be reading this blog of mine?
I don't know.

He's a nice guy.
Treasure him.
Don't hurt him anymore.
He's a great friend too.
Do you know that whenever he's emo, he comes to me.
I've been his listening ear so far.
And he didn't want me to tell you that I'm on the phone with him.
Reason?
He knows you get jealous very easily.
He's in the dark now.
Please don't ruin his life.
His love life.
He's a really great guy.
Fancy giving in to you, knowing there's still another guy in your heart...
Fancy giving you time to forget the other guy...
Where can you every find such a good guy again?

Please.
If you can, please don't hurt him.
It's either stay with him, let him happy.
Or,
Leave. Hurt for only once.
Don't drag.
I don't want to see this friend of mine so hurt.

When I'm down, he's always there for me.
Now that he's down, he kept everything to himself.
He won't tell me everything.

Afterall, it's between you and him.
Please.
He wasn't like this until he met you.
He wasn't this emo.

He used to tell me and warn me which guy to look out for.
Now, he's so emo that he won't even joke with me.
I hate seeing him like this...

I want that old friend back.
The one who will joke with me.
The one who's always there for me when i'm down.
The one who likes to disturb me anytime.
The one who used to spam my wall all the time.
The one who'll complain to me bout everything.
The one who always treat me as his trouble dump.

I miss you, old friend.
Bu yao ying wei gan qing er emo le.
You like that, I also emo. )':
I've said before, I've fallen.
You cannot fall too.
I still need a strong pillar to lean on.

People kept commenting he and I very sweet, even as friends.
They said that we've had a chance together if he break.
No. If you guys can, hold on.
Be strong.
Don't hurt him anymore.
ThankYou.

And I can't believe I just dedicated a post to you.
There's no vulgarities in this post, which means, I respect you.
Respect him too.

2010-09-30T08:17:00.002+08:00

I am bored.

Suddenly, I miss how we used to play around.
I miss how we joke around.
I miss how we disturbed each other at all the time...

Suddenly, I miss you telling me my name is special in your contact list.
Just because I'm the only one with "Baby '~' " (:
I miss it when you're shy.
I miss having your shoulder to lean on.
I miss holding your warm hand.
I miss you entertaining me.
I miss having you look deep in my eyes.
I miss star gazing with you.
I miss playing games with you every night.
I miss you telling me your favourite songs.

I know one day, you'll belong to others.
And I'll belong to others too.
But I cant help having these misses.
These are just MISSES. ):
MEMORIES we once shared together.
A flashback. <3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH.
I'M SUPER BORED.
Elvin has been a very very very good trouble dump for me.
*THUMBS UP*
But I feel bad pouring my troubles to him when he already has his own. ):
I'm so sorry, my dear Elvin Imbaman. ))))):

Bored death.
I need my entertainer.
RIGHT NAO.
THIS TIME.
I slept too early last night.
Then so many entertainer, I didn't return their MSN. -.-
WanZhen, you damn smart. -.-"""
Sleep like pig ytd onleh.
People wake you up also cannot wake up. -.-"

Anw, work ytd was alright.
KaiXin & I did opening.
Barry came over to help out since Pedy off.
2 newcomers open. SIAN.
But it's alright.
We know what to do though. <:

Closing with Jo.
Joey came.

I just need someone who understand me.

2010-09-29T04:46:00.001+08:00

我，放弃了。。
我知道，那是不可能的。
我后悔了。
最终，我还是自己走了这段路。。。
孤单的时候，没有肩膀可以靠。
生病时，没有人陪我看医生。

我会独立。
我一定会。
我不需要任何人。
我更不需要你。
我不需要。
我会坚强。

I feel , like I'm not myself.
I hate myself.
So I don't blame you guys for hating me too.
Hate me more.
That's the best.

I have a sudden urge to cry and scream out loud.
I don't know why.
What's happening to me, seriously.
I don't know.
I wanna know why.
WHAT IS EXACTLY WRONG WITH ME?!

我不重要。
我很笨。
我很纯。
我什么都不是。
如果，有一天，我能够离开的话。。。
那该多好。
我不会浪费世上的空气，地方，水，食物，和所有的东西。。。
我，受够了。

I hate my life.
I hate myself.
I hate everything about me.
Everything has gone wrong.
It wasn't like this in the past.
I was much more happier in the past!
What has happened?

What I want, is just someone who will love me for who I am.
Accept me for who I am.
Like me for who I am.

Is it that hard?

I'm a weakling.
I just cried.
I'm getting too emotional.
I can't.
I must stand up.
I must.

Jovy, you have no idea, what you just told me in MSN, means alot to me.
Jovy, I love you too. Thankyou. (':
Some times, I received chain messages.
I don't forward them.
I think they're stupid.
But, everytime I received them from friends, I smiled.
ThankYou, Xenia, Vannie, Diana, Roy.
I love you guys.

Friends?
Close friends?
Sometimes, I really wonder, who's my close friends.
I'm always there for people who are down.
But when I'm down, where's mine?
It's okay.
Everyone's busy.
Nobody has time for me.
I understand.
I'm just someone unimportant...

Know why I put makeups?
I don't put makeups so that I can be pretty.
No.
I used makeups, because they give me confidence that I've lost.
I used makeups to cover the imperfection in me.
I used makeups, so that my friends won't be able to see the sadness in me.

You can hardly see me in naked face.
I don't feel comfortable with my naked face.
Even if you see me in naked face, you will feel that I'm won't be able to be myself.
I guess, my real self will never be out.
A mask is what I will put on everyday. :///
I'm sorry.
You guys won't get to see the real me...

Anw, Happy 17th Birthday to KinRen, my best friend. :D

I did this specially for him man. He outta be grateful and proud of me. <:

The four of us, shall not be apart. <3

Love you.

Tham KinRen, Sim WeeSin & JoleneWu.

一切都已经太迟了。。。

再见。

It's time I should hit the sack.

ZiJie told me to sleep 2hrs ago.

And I promised him.

But I'm still here.

I'm sorry! ):

I'm working at 10am later.

EwF!

&&& Pei Qin & Pei Qin gonna come find me. <:

YAY-ness! <3

Elvin ; Thanks for listening to all my troubles and worry. I felt that I've been relying on you too much alr. Thanks for being there. Listening to all the shit that happen in my family. Thanks for everything. (':

GuoJie ; Thanks for your concern. I'm alright, at least I hope. <: I'm glad to have a friend like you. You! Don't be emo le! Cannot be like me! I've fallen. Mojo has fallen. Ppg cannot fall too, okay! :D

Jovy ; What you've said to me just now, means alot to me. your words, made me smile. Thanks. (':

Vannie, Roy & Diana ; YOU AH. I dunno what to say la. Thanks for being able to sense it when I'm down. (':

Sometimes, I feel better with my nocturnal friends. (:

xoxo ;
Velyn. ♥

2010-09-28T05:07:00.001+08:00

Am still awakeeeeee!
And I dunno why! :/
Perhaps, I've slept too long ytd.
Slept till 3pm+?
Jovy was the one who called and and woke me up, asking me to meet her.
Woke up, prepared and everything and off to Jurong to meet her.
Imm for Daiso.
Then 85 for dinner~!
R isn't happy that P was going. :/
Who knows?
Played with R's ipad then.

And guess what?
I saw my ex's best friend.
I didn't know he knows Jayden! x:
It was so awkward.
But I doubt he recognize me. <:
Which is a good thing actually.
But he kinda stared and wondered? x:
Told the girls and R.
They asked me don't give too much damn bout it.
So ya. :D

Shall go Simpang soon, I guess.
No more 85 if I know I'm gonna bump into such people. ://

Anw, F1 was great.
So was David.! <:
I still rmb the female toilet trip.
MUAHAHAHAH.

Utt!

End of last day.

Everyone was high.

And they cheer whoever walked in between the two rows.

There's one couple who danced their way through too!

Meet my new friend, Selin!

She's from Tampines college. <:

Some random shots I took secretly...

Overall, everything was fine.

Tofu kept pestering what's fun bout my last day.

And I told him in the end when I was on the phone with him.

Info booth was quite slack.!!

Was surprise! <:

Was on the phone with tofu again just now.
He's such an asshole.
He wants to tag along to the Tioman trip. -.-
And in order to go, he said he would pay for ALL my expenses there. -.-"
And I made him jealous by saying I'm going by a private plane, and R's family gonna book a yacht for diving. <:
And my expenses wont be paid by me?
I only need to pay for the plane ticket.
For around $300?
Around. Hehe.

AM DAMN EXCITED FOR MY TIOMAN TRIPPPPPP! :DDD
Gonna spend my pay on "trip operation" soon.
Jovy said we really need to go on a shopping spree for Tioman trip. ):
And I've yet to buy a bikini? Yeah..
Beach bag, luggage, bottles.
AND OH. MY PASSPORT.
It is expired alr.! ):
Jo's too.
Shall make together one day. <:

It's been long since I last had a good chat with him. ):
Nvm. It's okay.
Am giving up.
Told his good friend that I've got feelings for him.
He asked if I wanted to know he has feelings for me or not.
I said no, because I have no confidence.
I'm a weakling in such cases...
Hate me.
Shall stay single then.
Being single is good. (Y)

Was on th phone with GJ the other night.
Know a secret.
Damn.?
Yeah. :/
Promised him not to say.
But it's something about me. :/
Let nature take it's course then. :D
Not gonna do anything.

Anw, GJ, cheer up!
I'm here for you kay? <:

Am bored alr.
And I don't really know what to update?
Dad's going for operation tmr.
Wish him luck.

And oh, My phone is spoiled.
Please do not call me.
I cant hear what y'all talking at all.
Text me instead kay!

xoxo,
Velyn ♥

I miss my girls. ):

2010-09-21T06:18:00.002+08:00

Kay.

I'm bored.

Have been feeling E to th M to th O during all these nights. ):

And I don't know why!

Fucking shag.

I swear.

School for F1 uniform and pass in the after with Angie.

Then train to Bedok to find Roy & co.

Met alot of peeps la!

Shanice, Mark, Bishan ITE senior & all.

Today so many peepo. :/

Wanted Lor Mee as lunch, but the stall wasn't open. :/

So we decided on Chicken Rice instead. <:

After that, Town for my contacts.

Wanted to find uncle Mark.

But he left.

So, find Jason instead. :/

Didn't pay deposit worh.

He said I can don't pay first.

And he ordered 1 more extra pair of trail lens for me. Hahah!

EwF for my shake aftermath.

Didn't know Serene's working worhszxc.

She made Butterscotch shake for me. Heheh.

She actually asked me to make myself.

Cuz I shake siao alr. LOL!

Next time you guys come EwF, I make kay! :D

Cheryl's in kitchen helping to make burger.

"Meshroom" not in!

Meshroom is Loon nah! LOL.

He mispronounced mushroom and I started calling him "Meshroom" and he started calling me "Katsu"! ><

Addicted to Roy's ipad games. x:

Van & I kept playing non-stop.

Hehe.

When's my pay coming innnnn!!!

I'm sooooo broke la! ><

Anw, I seriously miss staying over at his house norh.

Night time he sayang me to sleep.

Keep say I nocturnal de, but like pig like that.

Reach his house, confirm jitao toh. >:

Say he won't sleep.

In the end, still sleep after sayang me to sleep ryite!

STUPID!

Then morning wake up, confirm I wake up earlier than him de!

Then all the time is I disturb him wake up. x:

Hehe.

Go to his ear, whisper/blow, pinch his nose, mess up his hair, then squeeze his cheek.

I'll do all these until he wake up de loh.

LOL.

*psst* he don't like ppl to touch his hair eh!

But I messed it up allllll the time. :D

That night at his house, I mess up his hair until super messy la.

Then he look like cute onleh.

HAHAH!.

Then pass him my hairband.

CUZ I WANT TO SEE HIM WITHOUT FRINGE NAH. <:

I miss you! ):

2 days nvr contact leeeeee. ))):

The heart you made, is still in my wallet oh!

It brings smile to my face no matter what. <:

I hope my star is still with you & in your wallet, you pig! :D

2010-09-18T15:10:00.001+08:00

Just something to say..

To 1 of my ex:
Seriously, I've been thinking alot lately.
From the past till now, I've always wanted to ask you this.
But I didn't get the chance to.
Yeah, I'm a jealous crazy bitch or whatever.
But, for a friend, you can gladly SEND HER back to her house downstairs.
Whereas me?
As a girlfriend status in the past, what?
Sent me to mrt station only?
Yeah. If that's the case, I would just fucking gladly remain as friend than be together with you man.
As least, friends would be much nicer than now.
Not talking. HAH.
I seriously hate falling in love with a guy friend that I don't want to lose. :/

Yeah. I'm a jealous freak.
我偏偏知道你很有女人元，但是我还是选择不信任你.
我最终还是吃醋了.
我不知道我为什么看到你对朋友比对我好时,我感到很不自在.
我总觉得,我在你心目中没有地位.
当时,在你的心目中,难道朋友比我还要重要吗?
如果是的话,我宁愿当你的好朋友.
当时的我们,还是朋友时,有说有笑的.
彼此都没秘密.
那段日子,可以算说是我生命中其中一个让我怀念的日子.
如果时间能倒流,我会选择不当你的女朋友.
但是, 如果当时我不选择当你的女朋友时,
我不可能会了解到什么叫心痛.
什么叫爱.
谢谢你当时给我的爱, 给我的关怀.
谢谢你给我了解到什么叫爱.
也因为你, 我满庆幸我们已分手了.
不然的话, 我不可能会遇到那么多的他, 然后又遇到了这个 "他".
"他" 对我还蛮不错的.
至少有一点做得比你好.
和 "他" 一起出门, "他" 会送我到我家门口.
我的父母也蛮欣赏 "他" 的.
"他" 也见过我妈妈了, 第一印象也蛮不错.
怪不得我和 "他" 看完半夜场的戏时, 我妈妈能够放心我去 "他" 家过夜.

我发现到, 我们都不该停下脚步了.
我们都该往前走.
再见了.
你只需要知道, 我曾经深深的爱过你.
我也没后悔过... :D

Ah. Feel much more better. ^^
Don't bother highlighting man.
The words are small.
And the colour font is light. <:

2010-09-18T05:32:00.005+08:00

MIA.

BYE BYE.

Maybe I should just let the car bang me and I will die.
My life isn't worth living for anyway. :/
I'm useless.
I'm nothing.
I'm.. nvm.
You guys will never understand.
Don't be surprised to see me in the obituaries or in the newspaper for involving in an accident.

Irwin is a not so good friend.

2010-09-16T03:48:00.005+08:00

Irwin, my dear.

Apology accepted.

LOLOLOL!

Had a fun time laughing my ass out with Irwin just now.

Check out below.

I WAS SERIOUSLY LAUGHING MY ASS OUT JUST NOW.

HAHAHAHAH!

If Jovy ever see this, She confirm will disiao Irwin in school de la.

LOL.

And I dunno what Christina & co will say. LOL.

My castle of love. LOLOLOLOL!

I still can't stop laughing.

Post 233; Guys are jerks.

2010-09-16T01:01:00.001+08:00

Hi.

I'm alright.

Everything's alright.

Nothing happen to me or anything.

I just feel that this is like true?

Yeaps.

Never ever trust a guy. <:

Tmr last paper.

Come on.

I Can Do It.

And I'm watching "Resident Evil" soon with him. <:

Out with Roy tmr to get something?

I suppose and he still hasn't texted me the time to meet yet.

Roy has become PokeROY.

Wtf man! HAHAH.

And Irwin is super uber irritating and bored now.

I swear.

I ain't going to this Friday's event.

But I think he'll be going.

Nvm. <:

I don't give a damn anyway.

It's his life. :D

Errrrr.

I just received a msn from J asking me where 'he' is.

I was like, errrr, How I know?

WHATTHEFUCK YOU TELL J!

WHAT IS HE KNOWS, I KNOW, YOU KNOW?

WHAT SIAH!

AND NOW J WOULDN'T TELL ME ANYTHING!

whatthehell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi J, I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU. ))):

Because you don't want to tell me anything!!!